Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, November 30, 2016.   

I Don’t Want To Be A Doctor For The Following Reasons….
If I were a pathologist I’d be in a dead end job.
If I were a biologist I’d be in jeans all the time.
Anesthesiology would put me to sleep.
Cell specialists are too cultured for my taste.
I can’t stand podiatry.
I can’t see myself as an ophthalmologist.
I’m too old to be a gerontologist.
I would have to be crazy to become a psychiatrist.
I’m told pediatrics is child’s play.
I haven’t got the heart to be a cardiologist.
And they’d see right through me if I went into radiology.
And I really couldn’t face it if I were a dermatologist.
I’m not cut out to be a surgeon.
If I weren’t such a baby, I’d become a gynecologist.
It’s been drilled into me that I should be a dentist.
I’d rather be a plumber than a urologist.
If I were a petrologist I’d always be behind in my career.
I haven’t got the spine to be a chiropractor.
The chiropractor called Mrs Levy saying, “Mrs Levy, your check came back.” Mrs Levy responded, “So did my arthritis!”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


DAILY QUOTES…

“The good people at Butterball have been running a toll-free hotline for turkey-cooking tips since 1981. Every year the turkey talk line receives more than 100,000 phone calls, but sadly, they have not once been able to save a turkey’s life.” -Stephen Colbert
“I heard that AMC will broadcast a marathon of the entire ‘Godfather’ trilogy on Thanksgiving. So if you want to watch a dramatic family falling apart on Thanksgiving – now you’ve got TWO ways to do that.” -Jimmy Fallon
Last Thursday WAS Thanksgiving. Now’s the time to call all your family and apologize to them for all the things you said when you got drunk.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

A woman who got it into her head that a fresh turkey produced a far superior meal to a frozen one made a trek out to a turkey farm to buy a live bird. But after returning home and looking square into the eyes of the living, breathing creature she’d just purchased, she just couldn’t bring herself to kill it by wringing its neck or chopping off its head. Instead, she managed to put the turkey to sleep with chloroform and then began the process of dry-plucking it. Just as she finished removing the last of the feathers, however, the bird woke up.
The next-door neighbors responded to her shouts and arrived at her back door to find a woman being chased around her kitchen by an angry, naked turkey.


Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 

Person 1: “I’m going to Bombay, India, to become a movie star!”
Person 2: “You don’t go to Bombay to become a movie star. You go where we’re going: Hollywood!”
Person 1: “Sure, if you want to do it the easy way!”
ANSWER: From “The Muppet Movie” – 1979.  I miss Jim Henson…

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “She’s gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….  
Find an anagram for each word in Group A. Each anagram will answer one of the clues in Group B.

Group A
A. Shale
B. Pique
C. Nixed
D. Greet
E. Lodge

Group B
1. White heron
2. Provide gear
3. Eyed suggestively
4. Dog’s lead
5. Alphabetical reference

ANSWER: 

A. Shale = (4) Leash
B. Pique = (2) Equip
C. Nixed = (5) Index
D. Greet = (1) Egret
E. Lodge = (3) Ogled

Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 

There are two groups of three-letter words used in the sentences below. The first missing words of each sentence are anagrams of each other, and the second missing words are also anagrams of each other. Can you find them ?
1. It is only ____ that we use a trap to catch a ____, instead of having a cat in the house!
2. To staunch the bleeding from a wound suffered by an animal, people used to ____ some hot ____ onto the wound at one time.
3. To ____ into the mysteries held within the human psyche and enjoy these mysteries to the fullest, is the objective of any ____.


TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! INCREDIBLE SOLVING BANKS!                    

             

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.comwww.stlzoo.org

 

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