Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, November 15, 2016. 

Marriage One-liners….
The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, ‘What does a woman want?’  Sigmund Freud
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. Friedrich Nietzsche
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Anonymous
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates
‘I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.’ Sam Kinison
‘There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.’ James Holt McGavran
‘I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.’ Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1). Whenever you’re wrong, admit it.
2). Whenever you’re right, shut up. Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. Anonymous
Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.  Mae West.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. Milton Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. Anonymous
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said
the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’ Anonymous
First man proudly, ‘My wife’s an angel!’  ‘Second man, ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…  “Trump received congratulations from Russian President Vladimir Putin. They spent two minutes on the phone discussing politics, then an hour saying, ‘No YOU hang up!’ ‘No YOU hang up first.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump will be the first U.S. president ever to have appeared in an ad for Pizza Hut. In fact, some pundits are predicting Trump will run in 2020 against Flo from Progressive.” -Conan O’Brien
“Vice President Joe Biden got together with incoming Vice President Mike Pence. Biden went over the primary responsibilities of being vice president, which are: not falling asleep at the State of the Union address… and that’s about it. So they covered that.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question. “Now,” he said, “what do I have to do to collect?” 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  

Fluke: “What’s the matter Auggie Ben Doggie, did you feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced?”
Auggie Ben Doggie: “No, it’s just a headache.”
ANSWER: Hardware Wars! From “Hardware Wars” – 1977.

A little hard to find, but it’s the funniest spoof of “Star Wars” you’ll ever see.

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “My! People have a way of coming and going so quickly here!”

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Fill in the answers to the clues by using all the syllables. The number to be used is in parentheses.
A BU ER GLE IM IN ISH JO NAV POV SET STEP SUN
1. Military horn (2)
2. Make poor (4)
3. American Indian (3)
4. Foot part (2)
5. Evening event (2)

 

ANSWER:  1. Bugle (Bu gle)  2. Impoverish (Im pov er ish)  3. Navajo (Nav a jo) 4. Instep (In step)  5. Sunset (Sun set)

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

I am loud or quiet.

I am sudden or expected.
I am a strong medication.
I am a relief in certain situations.
I am caused by embarrassment and/or happiness.
I am found in many good friendships.
I am …….

           

 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! INCREDIBLE WORK BANKS!                

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.comwww.stlzoo.org

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