Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, November 14, 2016.   

Thoughts of the Day…
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
‘How old are you?’ I’m four and a half!’ you’re never thirty-six and a half.  You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.
You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
‘How old are you?’ I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life … You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony … YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed.
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50.
And your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would.
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday.
You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90’s, you start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.’ I’m 100 and a half!’
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
When my wife gets upset, sometimes a simple ‘Calm down, Honey’ in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot more upset.
“I think the bottom-line difference between being single and married is this: When you’re single you’re as happy as you are. When you’re married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the house.” –Tom Hertz

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

My husband was waterskiing when he fell into the river. As the boat circled to pick him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds. My husband put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t shoot!”
The hunter responded, “Don’t quack.”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I have come here tonight to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I’m all out of bubblegum.” 

ANSWER: From “They Live” – 1988.

Rowdy Roddy Piper as “No Name”.  

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? Fluke: “What’s the matter Auggie Ben Doggie, did you feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced?”Auggie Ben Doggie: “No, it’s just a headache.”

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

 A cork, say from a wine bottle, is held by a robotic clamp at the bottom of a bucket of water and released the moment the bucket is dropped off the side of a tall building. What will happen to the cork during the fall? Will it float to the top of the bucket normally, slower than normal, faster than normal, or not at all?  Assume that there is no air resistance to slow the bucket down.

ANSWER: The cork will stay at the bottom of the bucket and not float up at all during the fall, since the cork, the bucket and the water all fall at the same acceleration g (neglecting air resistance as all good physics questions do). The buoyant force of the water does not push the cork upward in this case since in free fall the buoyant force is zero. In other words, a cork only floats up when the water around it is heavier and pushes it up. In free fall the water is weightless, as is the cork and bucket, so there is no force to push the cork to the top of the bucket.

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Fill in the answers to the clues by using all the syllables. The number to be used is in parentheses.
A BU ER GLE IM IN ISH JO NAV POV SET STEP SUN
1. Military horn (2)
2. Make poor (4)
3. American Indian (3)
4. Foot part (2)
5. Evening event (2)

           

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.comwww.stlzoo.org

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