WELCOME to Tuesday, November 8, 2016.
Here’s the story…..
Because of the reaction people have when they wake up and realize it’s a workday again and the weekend is over, the first day of the week is called Moanday.
Many people too busy to cook on the second day of the week just open a can of beans. Hence the day is known as Tootsday.
By the third day of the week, people are wondering when they can ever find the time to get everything done this week that they need to, hence the day is known as Whensday.
Too bleary to even count properly, people think it’s only Day Three of the week on the next day, therefore it’s er- roneously called Thirdsday.
On the last day of the workweek, people often go out “for a few” after work. By the time they get home, they’re too tired to cook anything elaborate, so they just throw a piece of meat, chicken, or fish in the skillet. That’s why the day is known as Fryday.
Saturday night all the singles let loose. There’s a lot of hijinks. It’s pretty obvious why the day is called Satyrday.
And on the last day of the week–and the weekend–people look at all the items on their to-do lists that didn’t get crossed off, groan aloud, and make themselves promises they won’t keep. Therefore the day is called Soonday.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“A pair of tickets to Game 7 sold on StubHub for almost $40,000. And the couple still left in the seventh inning to beat traffic. ‘Get your purse, Linda, we’ll catch the end on the radio.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“There’s an event company that specializes in fake weddings. The idea is that many young people don’t want to get married but they do want a wedding, so the company puts on a fake ceremony and a fake reception. I can’t imagine writing ‘Will attend’ on an RSVP for a fake wedding. There are already weddings for people who don’t want to get married – they’re called weddings.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“The FDA is currently debating whether the chocolate hazelnut topping Nutella should be classified as a dessert or a spread. Which is ridiculous. Nutella isn’t a dessert or a spread, it’s a cry for help.” -James Corden
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
On our way to the ski hill, my friend’s children decided to “find me a man” by the end of the day.
The kids did their best to let it be known I was unmarried and to introduce me to anyone who was skiing alone and therefore, in their minds, single.
To my great relief they finally got bored with their mission and charged off on their own. I then made my way to the chair lift. As I moved near the front of the line, a gentleman close to my age said “Excuse me, but are you single?”
Groaning inwardly, I said, “Yes, but despite what you may have heard, I’m really not looking to get married.”
He looked at me oddly. “All I want is someone to share the chair lift with.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
Sam: “You heard her. My daughter said a word. She said ‘pa’.”
Daniel: “She was pointing to a mailbox, Sam.”
Sam: “That’s right. She pointed to the mailbox as if to say ‘Pa, look, a mailbox’.”
ANSWER: From “A Few Good Men” – 1992. Kevin Pollack was great in this role.
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Evil will always triumph over Good, because Good is dumb.”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher what I am trying to say?
THE SANDY EGG KAZOO
ANSWER: The San Diego Zoo
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is represented below?
to-inG and fro-ing
back and fOrth
side to sIde
up and dowN
left to riGht
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com, www.stlzoo.org