WELCOME to Thursday, November 3, 2016.
Where is the cat in the catwalk?
Do models walk like cats?
Why are apartments so close together?
What idiot put an ‘s’ in the word lisp?
If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
If you had amnesia and then were cured, would you remember that you forgot?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
Is it true that cannibals won’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
Do hyenas laugh even when they are being killed?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
You know when you are driving and you notice one shoe on the road… whatever happened to the other shoe?
Why do we press harder on remote control buttons when we know the battery is dead?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
When you have your picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland, does the guy inside the costume smile for the camera?
“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in
the universe you will believe them but if they tell you a wall has
wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn’t live there?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
If a member of a synchronized swimming team drowns, do the rest also drown?
If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
No one ever says “It’s only a game,” when their team is winning.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Why do sky divers wear helmets ?
Why do banks charge you an ‘insufficient funds’ fee for money they already know you don’t have?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“It is Halloween, which means you just spent the night handing out candy, or you’ve been sitting completely still in the dark, pretending that you weren’t home.” -Jimmy Fallon
“In Arizona, the favored Halloween candy is Toblerone. That’s when you know you have too many old people living in your state. Where do you even get Toblerone? Are children trick-or-treating at duty-free shops at the airport? I haven’t seen Toblerone outside of that.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A school in California is testing a new program that forgoes traditional teachers and has students teach and grade each other’s classwork. So good luck to the students at ‘Straight A’s Academy!'” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
After years of wondering why he didn’t look like his younger sister or brother, a young man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.
“Yes, you were son,” his mother said as she started to cry softly. “but it didn’t work out and they brought you back.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
Mitch: “The weirdest thing just happened to me.”
Chris: “Was it a dream where you were where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?”
Chris: “Why, am I the only one who has that dream?”
ANSWER: “Real Genius” – 1985. One of Val Kilmer’s first roles, in a very under-rated movie.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
Club Owner: “How can you close me down? On what grounds?”
Police Captain: “I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!”
[A croupier hands the captain a pile of money]
Croupier: “Your winnings, sir.”
Police Captain: [sotto voce] “Oh, thank you very much. [aloud] Everybody out at once!”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Find an anagram for each word in Group A. Each anagram will answer one of the clues in Group B.
B. Golf clubs
C. Blacksmith’s furnace
D. Stringed instruments
E. Empty the sink
F. Valentine’s Day symbol
G. Painter’s stand
ANSWER: 1. Heart (F) 2. Irons (B) 3. Extra (A) 4. Easel (G) 5. Drain (E) 6. Harps (D) 7. Forge (C)
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Three words are bonded in a mutual tie
And a pattern within them hides from the eye
One word is a being in entertainment’s sake
That brings to people many words, fact and fake
Another word is conformed to a word meaning “chilly”
But it’s also a style, yes! Really really!
The last word resides in the pit of our fears
And it waits for us at the end of our years
With these words in order, try to find the design
Where the outsides change, and the middle stays lined
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB BANKS!
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com, www.stlzoo.org