Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, October 25, 2016. 

De-railed Careers….

Lawyers are disbarred.
Vicars are defrocked.
Electricians are delighted.
Eastern diplomats are disoriented.
Drunks are distilled.
Alpine climbers are dismounted.
Piano tuners are unstrung.
Orchestra leaders are disbanded.
Artists’ models are deposed.
Cooks are deranged.
Dressmakers are unbiased.
Nudists are redressed.
Office clerks are defiled.
Mediums are dispirited.
Programmers are decoded.
Accountants are discredited.
Holy people are disgraced.
Pastry chefs are deserted.
Perfume makers are dissented.
Butterfly collectors are debugged.
Students are degraded.
Electricians are refused.
Bodybuilders are rebuffed.
Underwear models are debriefed
Painters are discolored.
Spinsters are dismissed.
Judges are disappointed.
Vegas dealers are discarded.
Mathematicians are discounted.
Tree surgeons disembark.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES….   

“A London architect has come up with a concept for a floating hotel that is self-sustaining and could potentially move around the world. Great job, architect. You just invented the cruise ship.” -Seth Meyers
“A new study shows that elected leaders don’t live as long as their defeated opponents. So if there’s a candidate you really don’t like, vote for them.” -Stephen Colbert
“Researchers at the Center for Tobacco Control at Scotland University are working on an invention: Talking packs of cigarettes that warn smokers about the side effects of tobacco. I don’t know; that actually might make me START smoking.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

A fifth generation farmer has determined that his son will be the first in their family to go to college. So he and the wife save every penny for years and when the big day comes for junior to leave for school, the old man is the proudest he’s ever been.
After the first semester junior comes home for Christmas break and the old man sits him down for a talk. “Well, boy, you been at school for three months now, I want you to tell me some of that fancy book learnin’.”
So junior says, “My favorite class is math, pa. Just last week we learned a new formula…Pi r squared.”
At hearing this the old man screws up his eyes and smacks his forehead, “Dog gone-it! I spent all that money on schooling and all you can tell me is Pi r squared? Why everybody knows pie are round…CORNBREAD are squared!”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “A gun rack?! I don’t even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do with a gun rack?”

ANSWER: Wayne’s World! Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers) says this to his psycho hosebeast ex-girlfriend, Stacy (Lara Flynn Boyle), after she gives him a gun rack as a birthday present. He didn’t give her anything, but he should have given her a Big Mac or two; the high fat content would surely do her some good.

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I’m the Wonder Wheel champion of the world! Miracle Wonder Wheel!”

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Fill in the blank below with a word that means the same as the word on the left when read normally and fits the definition on the right when read backwards.

Friends _________ hit sharply.

Rinds of fruit __________ What we do with over one third of our lives.

ANSWER: Pals, slap; peels, sleep.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Zona, the nutty professor, gathered the class one day for an experiment. Zona began, “I have in my hands a rock and a piece of wood. I am going to place them in this beaker of mysterious liquid, and you may observe what happens.” Surprisingly, the rock floated and the wood sank! He turned to the class and said, “My question is: What is this mysterious liquid in the beaker?”
Do you know the answer?

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SWEET SOLVING JOB BANKS! 


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/    

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