WELCOME to Wednesday, October 5, 2016.
Maturity – Useful Advice!
Here are a dozen or so useful pieces of advice designed to put you in a reflective mood.
I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
As I’ve Matured… I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion,
not proof, to destroy it.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others — they are
more screwed up than you think.
I’ve learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.
I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I’ve learned that ex’s are like fungus, which keeps coming back.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Finally, I’ve learned that I don’t suffer from insanity – I enjoy it!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I’m not there I carry on as usual. – Patrick Moore
Operator! Give me the number for 911. – Homer Simpson
I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes. – Oscar Wilde
Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning? – George W Bush
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said, ‘No, Six should be enough.’ – Les Dawson
My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil. – Paul Getty
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Ian arrived at a very popular restaurant and he was dismayed to find it very crowded. Approaching the hostess Ian asked, ‘Will it be long?’
The hostess, seemingly ignoring Ian continued writing in her reservations book.
Thinking she had possibly not heard him the first time, Ian decided to ask again. ‘How much time is the wait for a table?’
Looking up from her book, the hostess smiled and said, ‘Oh, only about ten minutes. We will inform you when your table is ready.’
A short time later, Ian heard an announcement over the intercom system, ‘Willette B. Long……… Willette B. Long, your table is ready.’
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “He had yellow eyes. So, help me God, yellow eyes.”
ANSWER: A Christmas Story! The narrator (Ralphie) said this about Scut Farkus, the local neighborhood bully.
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Allison, I am bad! I am so bad! I am so bad I should be in detention.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
ANSWER: 1. Vain – vane – vein
2. Way – weigh – whey
3. Poor – pore – pour
4. Toad – toed – towed
5. Wail – wale – whale
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….