Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏

WELCOME to Monday, October 3, 2016.      

New Zealand Speak…

What helped me to understand New Zealand (Zillund) speak, was to read each item out loud:

Peck – to fill a suitcase

Min – male of the species

Milburn – capital of Victoria

Pigs – for hanging out washing with 

Pug – large animal with a curly tail

Nin tin dough – computer game

Munner stroney – soup

Mess Kara – eye makeup

McKennock – person who fixes cars

Mere – Mayor

Leather – foam produced from soap

Lift – departed

Kiri Pecker – famous Australian businessman

Kittle crusps – potato chips

Ken’s – Cairns

Jumbo – pet name for someone called Jim

Jungle Bills – Christmas carol

Inner me – enemy

Guess – vapour

Fush – marine creatures

Fitter cheney – type of pasta

Ever cardeau – avocado

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

 “Sometimes I sit for hours weighing the fine distinctions among the words spunk, pluck, nerve, chutzpah, gall and moxie.” –George Carlin 

A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The Photon replies, “No I’m traveling light.”

“I have a list I made when I was twelve of things I wanted to do before I die. Omigod…how embarrassing. Number One: Touch a boobie.” –Drew Carey

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

An English beau called Charles had his first date with a French girl called Martine.  Charles decided that he would impress Martine, so he acquired an English/French dictionary in order to swot up on the language.

Charles carefully translated and learned every word perfectly with the correct annunciation and accent.  At last they met, and our gentleman friend greeted the young French mademoiselle with the carefully prepared phrase …. in perfect French.

As Charles finished the greeting Martine duly slapped him around the face and the young lady disappeared from the scene. The poor chap was left floundering on the street corner, wondering what went wrong.

All Charles wanted to say was “When I look into your face, time stands still.” But when the phrase was translated correctly it came out as: “Your face would stop a clock!” 

 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “I have two sons. One I put through college. The other I put through a wall.” 

ANSWER: Back to School! Lou (Burt Young) said this to Jason, when he tried to explain how a person can be tough and nice at the same time. 

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  “So, Pee Wee plays the little fairy, and you play the big fairy. That’s a lot of fairies.”

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Fill in the sentence below so that the first two words combine to make the third word. For example, given “The ____ was closing in, making his ____ harder but through his ____ of contacts he was able to evade the police.” you would fill in NET, WORK, and NETWORK. 

 

The ____ count in the imported food was particularly worrying as there weren’t ____ holes in the packaging, which had been shipped from ____. 

 

ANSWER:  GERM, ANY, GERMANY

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Do not begrudge this,

For it is the fate that men want.

Yet it is feared,

And shunned in many lands.

Causes problems, and sometimes gaps,

Can hobble the strongest, and make memory lapse.

What is this danger we all face

For being a part of the human race?

 

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/      

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com, www.stlzoo.org