Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, September 29, 2016.   

Funny School Excuse Notes…

These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling), collected by schools from all over the country.

My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. 

Please exkuce Pam for being absent from skool.  She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please exscuse Cecil being absent on June 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Marvin from Physical Education lessons for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Ray was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.  

Bethan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Eddie for being.  It was his father’s fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wears.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.  We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.  

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday.  He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Mary-ann was absent October 8-11, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. 

There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

 “A restaurant here in New York is serving a grilled cheese-flavored martini. Or as parents put it, ‘Finally, a way to get my kids to finish their martinis.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Vin Diesel is with us tonight. Vin is not his real name. His real name is Vehicle Identification Number.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A Vatican cardinal said Jesus was the original tweeter. I don’t know how popular he was. He only had 12 followers.” -Conan O’Brien 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

While visiting Annapolis, a lady tourist noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.

“What are they doing?” she asked the tour guide.

“Each year,” he replied with a grin, “the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard.”

When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide: “So, what’s the answer?”

The guide replied: “One.”Emoji 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear. And when I do, it’s usually something unusual.”  

ANSWER: Stripes! John Winger (Bill Murray) said this when the new recruits were in the barracks introducing themselves to each other and their new drill sergeant for the first time. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???   “I know everything there is to know ’bout the shrimpin’ business.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

I am a set of three words, all with the same six letters.
First I am a kingdom, though not royally so.
Then spell me backwards, and I become a thin plate.
Now rearrange my consonants, leaving my vowels in place …
I am now a type of paper.
What are the words?

ANSWER: animal = a kingdom, not royal, but biological

lamina = a thin plate

manila = a type of paper 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

What number, when spelled out, has no repeated letters and has each of the vowels (not including Y) once?
 
 
 
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/      

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.comwww.stlzoo.org 

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