Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, September 14, 2016.   

Business 101……….

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.

An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes him.

An error in the premise will appear in the conclusion.

An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.

An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.

An original idea can never emerge from committee in its original form.

An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.

An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.

An ounce of rejection is worse than a pound of “sure”.

Any argument carried far enough will end up in semantics.

Any change looks terrible at first.

Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of the most harm.

Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.

Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

Any good strategy will seem ridiculous by the time it is implemented.

Any horizontal surface is soon piled up.

Any improbable event which would create maximum confusion.

Any issue worth debating is worth avoiding altogether.

Any landing you can walk away from is a good one.

Any line, however short, is still too long.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….  

“New York City turned 352 years old yesterday, and I have to say, it smells it.” -Seth Meyers

“A college student in Georgia was worried that his parents would be mad at him for flunking English. So he tried to fake his own kidnapping. The parents figured it out when the ransom note said, ‘We has your sun.'” -Conan O’Brien

“There’s a lot of talk about how global warming will be a disaster for future generations. When you think about it, it’s hard to care. What have these future generations ever done for us?” -Jimmy Kimmel

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time.

Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be unor confusing.

So their first meeting will actually be their first meeting and they will not have a meeting before the first meeting.

This should avoid having people show up for their first meeting before it is held, since to do so would be confusing to those who did so and this is what they want to avoid by reducing the confusion and lessening the repetition. Emoji  

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “You have disgraced yourself and you must be punished. Confine yourself to our royal suite at the Waldorf-Astoria. And see that he puts on some decent attire. And I want you to bathe him thoroughly.” 

ANSWER:  Coming to America! King Jaffe Joffer (James Earl Jones) said the first two lines of the above quote to Semmi (Arsenio Hall) when the King found out that Semmi and Prince Akeem were living in squalor somewhere in Queens. He directed the third and fourth lines to his royal servant and his rose bearers, respectively. Semmi’s response, while smiling from ear to ear, was simply, “Oh, thank you, Your Majesty!”

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You mean to tell me that you could positively identify the two defendants for a total of two seconds while looking through this dirty window, this crud-covered screen, these trees with all these leaves, and, I don’t know, how many bushes?”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

What common, English word has the letters “WSP”, in that order, without any letters between? 

ANSWER: neWSPaper  

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

It’s time for some spring cleaning! The sentences below each contain a bug that you need to find and exterminate! Can you spot them all?

1. It’s not always easy to listen to what my mother says, but most of the time, it’s the right thing.

2. All of a sudden, this wee, vile creature crawled up my arm and all I could do was shriek!

3. Long term itemizing of your priorities in life always helps.

 
 
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/      

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.comwww.stlzoo.org

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