Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, September 7, 2016.   

TOP TEN REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED… 

1. Your boss is always yelling, “I wanna see your butt in here by 8:00!”

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. “I’d love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants.”

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it’s like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add “Exotic Dancer” to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they’ve seen where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

9. Gives “bad hair day” a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….  

 “A friend is a gift you give yourself.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”–Sir Winston Churchill

“Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.” –Jeanne Moreau 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon, it was to be different. Trouser’s owners were walking him along a trail at the park, when suddenly from out of the bushes jumped a man all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face, and was gesturing annoyingly at Trouser’s masters. This strange person spoke not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box and that he was pulling on a long rope. Seeing the sheer horror on his masters’ faces, Trouser took it upon himself to rectify the situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank his teeth into this annoying pseudo clown’s leg. Trouser immediately got a sickened look in his eyes and began to vomit wildly. He then dragged his tongue all over the ground in an effort to remove the man’s foul essence from his mouth. For Trouser had learned that …. a mime is a terrible thing to taste.Emoji 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Next to lunch and dinner, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.”

ANSWER:  Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment! This was said by Officer Vinnie Schtulman (Peter Van Norden) when Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg) went to meet his new partner for the first time. Schtulman was eating a bowl of cereal in which his cat, Bunky, had just done his business. “Bunky!? Bunky!? How many times do I have to tell you? The litter box.” He offered some cereal to Mahoney, and Mahoney just shook his head in fear. Schtulman later ate a Nestle’s Crunch bar he found on the ground; at least he brushed off most of the ants first. Mmmm, Nestle’s Crunch.

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “This is the year that Finklestein beats ‘The Stomach’!”

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

This is a quote by a very famous person. Can you decipher it? I won’t include capitals in the cipher. 

“oltsitemsienevfruodngania.” 

-ebjnmanirfnalkni 

ANSWER:  To decipher: put a space after every 2 letters. Except for the last three letters. Leave them be: olts – ol ts. nia – nia. Then, switch the two (or three) letters around: ol ts – lo st. Nia – ain. Repeat for the next letters: lo st ti me is ne ve rf ou nd ag ain. Put them together, minus spaces: losttimeisneverfoundagain. Then, look at the title: 4, 4, 2, 5, 5, 5, 8, 8… they represent letters before a space: lost time is never found again. Use this rule (this time, all letters are the same) for the last part. 

It now should read: 

Lost time is never found again. 

-Benjamin Franklin. 

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you unscramble the movies in Part 1 and match them with who the star was in Part 2? And your answer is?

Part 1

1. IILLONM LLOARD BBYA

2. A AUITEBUFL NMDI

3. AAIRCNEM YBTUEA

4. RRFTSOE MGPU

5. NRIA NMA

6. ETH NSITG

7. IIMDGNTH OOCYBW 

Part 2

1. Dustin Hoffman.

2. Jon Voight.

3. Kevin Spacey.

4. Clint Eastwood.

5. Paul Newman.

6. Tom Hanks.

7. Russell Crowe.

 
 
                      
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/      

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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