Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, September 1, 2016. 

MORE LIFE PONDERING..

Do fish get thirsty? 

If everything you say is a lie, are you telling the truth, or lying? 

If we’re closer to death every day of our lives, is time really on our side? 

Why do some products state, “Not recommended for children over 12 years of age” – aren’t people over 12 years of age not children? 

Why is Greenland made of ice and Iceland made of green grass? 

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected? 

How come wrong numbers are never busy? 

If all the nations in the world are in debt, who’s got all the money? 

Why do some directions for medicine read, “Only apply to infected area” – where else would you apply it? 

What color is a chameleon on a plaid shirt? 

Why is it when you transport something by car it’s called a shipment but when you transport by ship it’s called cargo? 

How come you never read about a psychic winning the lottery? 

Is it really necessary for the Postal Department to print the words, “Post Office will not deliver without postage” on your package?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….  

“Astronaut Jeffrey Williams just set the U.S. record for most days in space, reaching the milestone of 521 days. It’s less of an accomplishment after NASA admitted they sort of forgot he was up there.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A man in Ireland has created a working Batman outfit with 23 different features. So now he just has to sit back and wait for somebody to murder his parents.” -Seth Meyers

“A developer in New York wants to build an IHOP on top of a Revolutionary War cemetery. IHOP’s CEO said, ‘It makes sense, we’ve killed more Americans than the British ever did.'” -Conan O’Brien  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A member of a diet club bemoaned her lack of will-power. She had made her family’s favorite cake over the weekend, she explained, and they had eaten half of it. The next day, however, the uneaten half beckoned. She cut herself a slice. Then another, and another. By the time she had polished off the cake, she knew her husband would be disappointed. 

“What did he say when he found out?” one club member asked. 

“He never found out,” she said. “I made another cake and ate half.”Emoji 

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Take off those glasses. They’re not regulation, and they make you stand out like a turd in a punch bowl.”

ANSWER: Up the Academy! This was said by Major Vaughn Leisman (Ron Liebman) to Rodney Ververgaert (Harry Teinowitz). Ververgaert wore plastic goggles because things would suddenly burst into flames when he was around. Leisman absolutely rules in this highly underrated comedy film from 1980, directed by Robert Downey, Sr., and starring Ralph Macchio, Tom Citera, Antonio Fargas, and Tom Posten. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Hey, Red Riding Hood, wanna be eaten by the Big Bad Wolf?”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you figure out the logic I used to decide the order of the following words: 

gun, shoe, spree, door, hive, kicks, heaven, gate, line, den

ANSWER:  Each word rhymes with its numeric position in the list. (e.g. “gun” rhymes with “one”, etc.)

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

In this teaser you have two tasks. First, you need to fill in the correct blank letter of each word. Second, when you have done this, each letter then needs to be transferred to the numbered blanks in order to discover the keyword.

1. _ AINT

2. TIME _

3. B _ AST

4. MI _ ER

5. ST _ LL

6. BRI _ E

7. PLAN _

8. _ IFTY

9. RE _ AP

10. DIAR _

1. _ 2. _ 3. _ 4. _ 5. _ 6. _ 7. _ 8._ 9. _ 10. _

 
 
 
 
 
QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 
GREAT JOB BANKS! (6 DAYS IN ROW) EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/      

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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