WELCOME to Monday, August 29, 2016.
Ten Short Relationship Jokes….
I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months – I don’t like to interrupt her.
Love is grand… Divorce is 75 grand.
Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. – Swedish Proverb
Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. – Leo Buscaglia
Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. – Miles Franklin
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. ‘Pooh!’ he whispered. ‘Yes, Piglet?’ ‘Nothing,’ said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. ‘I just wanted to be sure of you.’ – A.A. Milne
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with. – Wayne W. Dyer
Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. – Anonymous
Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak. – Epictetus
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. – Mignon McLaughlin
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Today is Thursday. Or what I like to call on Friday, ‘yesterday.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Astronomers at NASA are saying that they discovered a new Earth-like planet that’s only 4.2 light years away. I know, I reacted the exact same way as you did. I don’t know how far that is either.” -James Corden
“KFC has come out with a sunscreen that makes you smell like fried chicken. Of course if you want to smell like KFC, you could just ride around in any single guy’s car.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
In my English-as-a-second-language class, I explained the difference between a watch and a clock. I told the students that when it was a large timepiece on a wall and not attached to your body, it was called a clock. When it was worn on your body, it was called a watch.
A few days later we had a power outage, and our classroom clocks had not been reset. I asked Luis, who was wearing a wristwatch, for the time. Luis looked at his wrist, and then confidently announced, “It is exactly ten o’watch.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Relax, alright? My old man is a television repairman; he’s got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.”
ANSWER: Fast Times at Ridgemont High! Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn) said this after he and Jefferson’s little brother (Stanley Davis, Jr.) totally trashed Jefferson’s brand new Trans Am during a night of partying. This happened soon after Spicoli said that unforgettable line, “People on ‘ludes should not drive!” The two youths doctored it to look like the Lincoln High football team had done it, so Jefferson (Forrest Whitaker) took it out on Lincoln during the game that weekend. “LINCOLN KILLS!”
Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.”
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Beginning with the word “in,” add one letter from the given pool to create a new word until you get a seven-letter word meaning “being in a state of suppressed agitation, worry, or resentment.”
Pool: T G E S W
ANSWER: 1) IN, 2) WIN, 3) WING, 4) SWING, 5) SEWING, 6) STEWING
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
What saying is shown below?
Fair ice cream