Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, August 25, 2016.   

Here’s the story………… 

Paresh, an Indian carpenter I once hired to help me restore my old farmhouse, had just finished a difficult and hard first day on the job. A flat tyre on his lorry made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw packed in, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, Paresh sat in stony, thoughtful silence.

On arriving, Paresh, in the way of all Indian gentlefolk, invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands.

When opening the door to his home, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

After a cup of tea, he walked me to my car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

‘Oh, that’s my trouble tree,’ Paresh replied. ‘I know I can’t help having troubles on the job, but one thing for sure, troubles don’t belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again. Funny thing is’, he smiled winningly, ‘when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren’t nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.’

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….  

“Congratulations to Team USA for winning over 100 medals! The most of any country, and my condolences to everyone who is behind them at airport security.” -Jimmy Fallon 

“Last week, Twitter introduced a ‘quality filter’ that gets rid of tweets that contain spam, mean, or unwanted content. An hour later, Twitter filed for bankruptcy.” -Conan O’Brien

“Police in Australia are searching for a group of men seen releasing live crocodiles into a school building. Though, if you ask me, they should probably be searching for the crocodiles.” -Seth Meyers  

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it. 

After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard. 

The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled. 

It’s beyond me,” said the father, “how you got it together without even reading instructions.” 

“To tell the truth,” replied the old-timer, “I can’t read, and when you can’t read, you’ve got to think.” Emoji 

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Wait, you can’t leave; I have to work late. If you can’t work late, I can’t work late. If I can’t work late, I CAN’T WORK LATE!”

ANSWER:  Scrooged! Frank Cross (Bill Murray) said this to his secretary, Grace (Alfre Woodard), when she told him she had to take her son to a doctor’s appointment. “Let’s face it, Frank, garden slugs got more out of life than you did.”

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “We got no food, no clothes. Our pets’ heads are falling off!”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

If to you I’m given you should thankfully receive,

Then look me over carefully, just don’t look at my teeth.

Show me to a cool stream and I’ll follow willingly,

Though I might not do what you want, although parched I may be,

But if you’re really hungry and are looking for a bite,

I don’t think you could eat me even though you say you might.

Decipher all these clues and then together they should tie

To help you solve the question which, of course, is “what am I?”  

ANSWER:  If you answered “horse” then you’re quite clever, very shrewd,

For to look a gift horse in the mouth is very, very rude!

Though I may (or not) be thirsty it’s a well-known thing, I think,

That you can lead a horse to water but you can not make it drink,

And though you might be famished, I don’t think you mean a word

In saying, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” it’s quite absurd!  

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Each of the following clues describes two words. One of the words is a type of fruit. The other word is that fruit with one of the following changes: a letter added anywhere (apple applet), a letter deleted anywhere (orange range), or a letter changed anywhere (cheery cherry). There is no rearrangement of the other letters. No fruit is used more than once.

1) This is a devilish fruit.

2) This is a crippled fruit.

3) This is a happy fruit.

4) This is a criminal fruit.

5) This is a large fruit.

6) This is a tardy fruit.

7) This is a sullen fruit.

8) This is an up-to-date fruit.

9) This is a handkerchief worn by a fruit.

10) This is a popular dance among fruit.

11) This is a complaint by a fruit.

12) This is a weapon used by a fruit.

 
 
 
 
 
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/      

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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