Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, August 23, 2016.    

Our Favorite Hashtags on Dating..   

#GeekPickupLines: My name’s 
Microsoft … can I crash at your place tonight?  

#RobotPickupLines: “You had me 
at 100100010000101100110010011001001111.” 

#ThatAwkwardMoment: When someone says “Hello!” and you say “Good, thanks!” 

#MySexLifeinMovieTitles: Home Alone

Professors Define a Kiss….   

In math: Two divided by nothing.

In physics: The contraction of 
the mouth due to the expansion 
of the heart.

In accounting: It’s a credit, because it is profitable when returned.

In economics: A thing for which the demand is higher than the 
supply.

In dentistry: It’s infectious and 
antiseptic.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….  

“Scientists have found a new link between high blood sugar and dementia. Which explains Cinnabon’s new slogan, ‘The last bite you’ll remember.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Teachers at nine universities are using a new technology that can tell if students are actually reading their textbooks. Let me save you some time. They’re not.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A new study found that humans started wearing clothes about 170,000 years ago. In fact, the first sentence ever spoken was, ‘Me look fat in this?'” -Jimmy Fallon  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Needing to look up a phone number while at a friend’s house, my teenage daughter asked for a phone book. She might as well have asked for a papyrus scroll.

“A phone book?” asked her friend.

“You know,” said my daughter. “A book with numbers in it.”

“Oh,” said her friend as it dawned on her. “You mean a math book.”Emoji  

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “All you boys have seemed to learn is that Caesar is a ‘salad dressing dude’.”

ANSWER: Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure! This was said by the history teacher, Mr. Ryan (Bernie Casey), just before he threatened to flunk both Bill and Ted. But with the help of Napoleon, Genghis Khan, and So-Crates, the boys did quite well. 

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “THERE’S ALWAYS TIME FOR LUBRICANT!”

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

The items in each group are related to each other. Try to figure out the noun or adjective that is common to all the items in the group.

Group A

A person

A clock

A cliff

Group B

A dress

A ship

An aircraft

Group C

A feather

A torch

A low calorie beer 

ANSWER:  Group A- a face,  Group B- trim,  Group C- light 

 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

What do the following sentences have in common?

Tracy, no panic in a pony cart!

But not now a wonton tub!

Marge let a moody baby doom a telegram.

 
 
 
 
 
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/      

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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