Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, August 19, 2016.   

How To Translate Work Emails and stuff……

I have a question.     =     I have 18 questions.

I’ll look into it.     =     I’ve already forgotten about it.

I tried my best.     =     I did the bare minimum.

Happy to discuss further.     =     Don’t ask me about this again.

No worries.     =     You really messed up this time.

Take care.     =     This is the last you’ll ever hear from me.

Cheers!     =     I have no respect for you or myself!

• If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating?

• What is the sound of no hands texting?

• If nobody likes your selfie, what is the value of the self?

• To see a man’s true face, look to the 
photos he hasn’t posted.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….  

“I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.” –Mahatma Gandhi 

“All things must change to something new, to something strange.” –Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

“Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.” –Albert Schweitzer  

Jimmy Fallon asked his viewers to tweet #IGotBusted and share 
the most embarrassing times they got caught.

“I was on Facebook at work, and my boss walked up. I slammed down what I thought was my laptop screen, but it was actually my desktop 
monitor.”

“I lied and told my dad school 
was canceled. He said, ‘Let’s go see 
a movie.’ We got in the car, and he dropped me off at school.”

“I was Facebooking in church, and the usher passed by and whispered,‘You better be texting Jesus.’”EmojiEmoji 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while 
applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works. I already have three people following me—two 
police officers and a psychiatrist.Emoji 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???   “Big hitter, the Lama – long.” 

ANSWER: Caddyshack! This was said by Carl Spackler (Bill Murray), when telling a young caddy about how he caddied for “the Dalai Lama himself, twelfth son of the Lama, the flowing robes, the grace, bald, striking.” “Gunga-gunga-galunga.” One of the greatest and most memorable quotes in comedy movie history. 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  “You know, there are a million fine looking women in the world, dude, but they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you.”

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Yes he’s back, back again. Oxy’s back, back again! Here are five more for you to figure out.

Task (same as always…):

Can you figure out which well known oxymorons these words are?

Ex) Initial facsimile = original copy

1) Latest ritual

2) Average huge

3) Juvenile grown-up

4) Factual deceptions

5) Unwell fitness 

ANSWER:  1) New tradition  2) Medium large   3) Young adult  4) True lies  5) Ill health

 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Complete the words below using three consecutive letters in alphabetical order, e.g. _ _ A _ U S; add A B and C it would become ABACUS.

1. _ _ R _ E S,

2. D O _ I _ _,

3. _ R A _ I _,

4. _ O U _ _ T,

5. _ _ A _ U E,

6. _ A Y _ A _.

 
 
 
 
 
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT WORK BANKSEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/      

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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