Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, August 18, 2016.  

Even More Pondering…. 

How come you never read the headline, “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

The next time someone says, “Now I’ve seen everything”, ask them if they’ve ever seen a UPS truck parked in a parking space.

Has anyone ever really seen a Jolly Rancher?

If you get a club soda stain, how do you remove it?

Has anyone (besides Donald Trump’s wife) ever been fooled by a combover?

Is it really possible to change the direction of a bowling ball by waving your hands?

There’s senior citizens, so why aren’t there junior citizens?

They say laughter is the best medicine – so who came up with the phrase, “I died laughing”?

Why do doctors leave the room when your getting dressed? After all, they’ve already seen you naked.

What’s wrong with the United States? They only have two choices for President, but fifty for Miss America.

Any reason they nail down the lid of a coffin?

When butterflies get upset or nervous, what do they get in their stomachs?

Where do they put price stickers on non-stick pans?

If it’s called lipstick, why is it always coming off?

When they sing, “Take me out to the ball game” they’re already there. Why?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….  

“Last night a woman in New York gave birth to a healthy baby girl inside a Walmart. Obviously it’s a little embarrassing to give birth in a Walmart, which is why she plans on telling her daughter she was born in a Target.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Pope Francis has said that atheists are still eligible to go to heaven. To return the favor, atheists said Popes are still eligible to go into a void of nothingness.” -Conan O’Brien

“A study has found that some people can suffer symptoms of withdrawal when they are forced to stay away from social media sites. This is why I’m not even on Facebook. I update my high school yearbook manually with a pen.” -Jimmy Kimmel 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

 A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp. Emoji 

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???   Guy says: ‘What’s that like? What’s it taste like? Describe it like Hemingway.’

Girl says: ‘Well, it tastes like a pear. You don’t know what a pear tastes like?’

Guy says: ‘I don’t know what a pear tastes like to you.’

Girl says: ‘Sweet, juicy, soft on your tongue, grainy like a sugary sand that dissolves in 

your mouth. How’s that?’

Guy says: ‘It’s perfect.’

ANSWER: City of Angels! A conversation between Meg Ryan and Nicolas Cage. I think this is the point where we all pretty much fell in love with Cage’s Seth. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  “Big hitter, the Lama – long.”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

A common three-letter word can be added in the spaces below to create four common English words. What is the three letter word?

C _ _ _ ED

T _ _ _ SIT

ST _ _ _ D

F _ _ _ TIC

ANSWER: The three-letter word is “RAN”, which yields:

Craned

Transit

Strand

Frantic 

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Yes he’s back, back again. Oxy’s back, back again! Here are five more for you to figure out.

Task (same as always…):

Can you figure out which well known oxymorons these words are?

Ex) Initial facsimile = original copy

1) Latest ritual

2) Average huge

3) Juvenile grown-up

4) Factual deceptions

5) Unwell fitness

 
 
 
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT WORK BANKSEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/      

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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