WELCOME to Friday, August 12, 2016.
1. GRANDMOTHER OF EIGHT MAKES HOLE IN ONE.
2. DEAF MUTE GETS NEW HEARING IN KILLING.
3. DEFENDANT’S SPEECH ENDS IN LONG SENTENCE!
4. ASBESTOS SUIT PRESSED.
5. DOCTOR TESTIFIES IN HORSE SUIT.
6. COMPLAINTS ABOUT NBA REFEREES GROWING UGLY.
7. POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUNDOWN JAYWALKERS!
8. FLAMING TOILET SEAT CAUSES EVACUATION AT HIGH SCHOOL!
9. HOUSE PASSES GAS TAX ONTO SENATE!
And in the grand tradition of saving the best for last…
10. POLICE DISCOVER CRACK IN AUSTRALIA!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
I love mankind. It’s people I can’t stand.” ~ Charles Monroe Schultz
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” ~ Groucho Marx
I can resist everything except temptation.” ~ Oscar Wilde
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.” ~ Clint Eastwood
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.” ~ Oliver Herford
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” ~ Margaret Mead
I never said most of the things I said.” ~ Yogi Berra
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Riding a power mower while doing grounds maintenance work in
Southern California, I usually wear several items to protect
myself, including safety glasses, dust mask, and cowboy hat
to keep the sun off.
One day as I walked into our shop at lunchtime, a co-worker
called out, “Look! It’s the Lawn Ranger!”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ”Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God’s true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest.’
ANSWER: Dogma! One of the many quotable lines from Kevin Smith’s fifth feature film.
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with an extra letter added somewhere (example: band & brand). The length of the short word in each pair is provided.
1) low in fuel content & to gain knowledge (4 letters)
2) a small vessel for liquids & essential (4 letters)
3) a low or open slipper & malicious gossip (6 letters)
4) a mark used to indicate the place where something is to be inserted & a floor covering (5 letters)
ANSWER: 1) lean & learn, 2) vial & vital, 3) sandal & scandal, 4) caret & carpet
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
What costs nothing
but is worth everything,
weighs nothing, but can last a lifetime,
that one person can’t own,
but two or more can share?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/