Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, August 8, 2016.      

TRUE HISTORY…. 

In George Washington’s days, there were no cameras.  One’s image was either sculpted or painted.  Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms.  Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are “limbs,” therefore painting them would cost the buyer more.  Hence the expression, “Okay, but it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.”

As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October)!  Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs.  Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool.  They couldn’t wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes.  The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term “big wig.”  Today we often use the term “here comes the Big Wig” because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.

In the late 1700s, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair.  Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining.  The “head of the household” always sat in the chair ! while everyone else ate sitting on the floor.  Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal.  To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge.  They called the one sitting in the chair the “chair man.”  Today in business, we use the expression or title “Chairman” or “Chairman of the Board.”

Personal hygiene left much room for improvement.  As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood.  The women would spread bee’s wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions.  When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman’s face she was told, “mind your own bee’s wax.”  Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term “crack a smile.”  In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt . . . therefore! , the expression “losing face.”

Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front.  A proper and dignified woman, as in “straight laced”. . . wore a tightly tied lace. 

Common entertainment included playing cards.  However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the “Ace of Spades.”  To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead.

Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren’t “playing with a full deck.”

Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important.  Since there were no telephones, TV’s or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars.  They were told to “go sip some ale” and listen to people’s conversations and political concerns.  Many assistants were dispatched at different times.  “You go sip here” and “You go sip there.”  The two words “go sip” were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term “gossip.”

At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint and quart-sized containers. A bar maid’s job was to! keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in “pints” and who was drinking in “quarts,” hence the term “minding your “P’s and Q’s.”

One more: bet you didn’t know this!

In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons.  Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls.  It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon.  However, how to prevent them from rolling about the deck?  The best storage method devised was a square-based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine, which rested on sixteen.  Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon.  There was only one problem…how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate called a “Monkey” with 16 round indentations.

However, if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it.  The solution to the rusting problem was to make “Brass Monkeys.” Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannonballs would come right off the monkey.  Thus, it was quite literally, “Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.”  (All this time, you thought that was an improper expression, didn’t you.)

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

“We don’t know a millionth of one percent about anything.” –Thomas A. Edison 

“Architecture is the art of how to waste space.” –Philip Johnson 

“Having a dream is what keeps you alive. Overcoming the challenges make life worth living.” –Mary Tyler Moore  

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the 

first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard 

him mutter, “Hoover!” under his breath. 

On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water 

hazard. “Hoover!” again, a little louder this time. 

On the third hole, a miracle occured & Fr. Murphy’s drive 

landed on the green only six inches from the hole! “Praise 

be to God!” 

He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around 

the hole instead of going in. “HOOVER!” 

By this time, his opponent couldn’t withhold his curiosity 

any longer, and asked why the priest said “Hoover”. 

“It’s the biggest dam I know.” he replied. Emoji 

 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘I hate to see you go, but I LOVE to watch you leave.’ 

ANSWER:  Face Off! Castor Troy, played alternately by John Travolta and Nicolas Cage, said this in John Woo’s amazing action flick. Joan Allen, Alessandro Nivola, and Gina Gershon costarred.

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘Where we’re going, we won’t need eyes to see.’

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Stronger than steel, yet lighter than cotton

Found in a corner, forever forgotten

I bother so many, but marvel a few

You can’t seem to make me

I’m a mystery to you.  

ANSWER:  Spider silk. Spider silk is one of the most remarkable materials on Earth. Besides being five times stronger than steel, it is also extremely lightweight: a strand of spider silk long enough to circle the earth would weigh less than 16 ounces. Despite years of study, researchers are still baffled by spider silk and have not been able to duplicate it.  

 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you rank the following series of words in the proper order?

admission, cook, governor, league, message, mustard, pepper, punishment

 
 
 
 
 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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