WELCOME to Friday, August 5, 2016.
You Might Be a Farmer If…
* Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
* You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.
* You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
* You’ve never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
* You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.
* You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.
* You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife’s birthday.
* You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.
* You have used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper.
* You have driven off the road while examining your neighbor’s crops.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“I’ve known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.” –Ring Lardner
“Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible.”–Frank Moore Colby
We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.”–Oscar Wilde
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Every day a peddler pulled his cart of wool from his home to the village market. It was a long trip. He had to travel around the perimeter of a large lake that was owned by the town tycoon, a modern-day scrooge. One day during the winter the lake frozen over. The peddler realized that he could cut off two miles from his trip if he crossed over the lake. He was spotted halfway across the lake by the tycoon. Scrooge came racing out of his mansion and screamed at the peddler, “I’ll be darned if I let anyone pull the wool over my ice!”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘There’s no crying in baseball!’
ANSWER: A League Of Their Own!
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘When you look at me, you don’t see a man, you see a black man.’
TODAY’S MOVIE DIVA AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD!
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Complete the series by making a selection from the pool.
Series: Hermes, Aphrodite, Gaea, Ares, Zeus, Cronus, Uranus, Poseidon, ?
Pool: Athena, Dionysus, Eros, Hades, Hephaestus, Hera
ANSWER: The series is the equivalent Greek names for the planets, which are Roman. When the Romans assimilated Greek mythology, they renamed many of the Greek gods.
Mercury = Hermes
Venus = Aphrodite
Earth = Gaea *
Mars = Ares
Jupiter = Zeus
Saturn = Cronus
Uranus = Uranus **
Neptune = Poseidon
Pluto = Hades
* Although earth is not a Roman god, Gaea is Mother Earth in Greek mythology.
** The Romans did not change the name of the Greek Uranus.
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
In each of the cases below, scramble the letters and then add an X at the end to make a new word.
Example: coven + x = convex
1) real + x =
2) torah + x =
3) compel + x =
4) claim + x =
5) nasty + x =
6) hoboes + x =
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/