Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

images (3)

WELCOME to Tuesday, August 2, 2016.     

What is intelligence?

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?” “I don’t know,” responded the other. “I’ll ask him.”

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. “Why are we digging in the hot sun and you’re standing in the shade?” “Intelligence,” the boss said. “What do you mean, ‘intelligence’?”

The boss said, “Well, I’ll show you. I’ll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can.” The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss’ hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, “That’s intelligence!”

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, “What did he say?” “He said we are down here because of intelligence.” “What’s intelligence?” said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, “Take your shovel and hit my hand.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

“Legal experts are saying it’s only a matter of time before someone uses Pokemon Go as an excuse for committing a crime. At least then we’ll get to hear the first lawyer ever to use the ‘Squirtle Defense.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Bill Clinton said he watched all six Police Academy movies with his daughter Chelsea, which got awkward when Chelsea was like, ‘That wasn’t me.'” -James Corden

“A British Airways flight had to make an emergency landing recently after the cabin strongly smelled like marijuana. Even worse, the pilot was flying at, like, 5 miles per hour.” -Seth Meyers

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

 A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?” 

The father answers, “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: “You got male!”Emoji 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  ‘Do they teach beauty queens how to apologize because you suck at it?’

ANSWER: Erin Brockovich! I think that Albert Finney should have won best supporting actor for this role.  

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘There are some things though, I know for certain – always throw spilled salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate and fall in love whenever you can.’

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

What do these three objects have in common?

Corn

Weasel

Balloon  

ANSWER:  They all pop!  

 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Find the correct words that fit with the following words:

Example: Air PORT Wine

1. Birth _ _ _ Light

2. Knock _ _ _ Line

3. Rock _ _ _ _ _ Bar

 
 
 
 
 
 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s