WELCOME to Thursday, July 28, 2016.
You Are No Longer “Cool” When……
You find yourself listening to talk radio.
You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears.
The pattern on your shorts and couch match.
You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit.
You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20 year old girlfriend.
You criticize the kids of today for their satanic suicide-inducing music, forgetting that you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath.
You call the police on a noisy party next door instead of grabbing beer and joining it.
You turn down free tickets to a rock concert because you have to work the next day.
When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate.
When jogging is something you do to your memory.
Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.
All the cars behind you flash their headlights.
You remember the “Rolling Stones” as a rock group not a corporation.
You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your son’s new running shoes.
You actually ASK for your father’s advice.
You don’t know how to operate your new computer.
When someone mentions SURFING you picture waves and a surf board.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“The manager of English soccer team Manchester United has banned his players from playing Pokemon Go. The Manchester United manager said, ‘I want my players thinking about soccer, not some fun game where interesting things happen.'” -Conan O’Brien
“The theme for the Democrats today at the Democratic Convention is ‘United Together.’ Which really is the best way to be united. So much better than being united apart.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“President Obama appeared on Face the Nation this weekend and said of Hillary Clinton, ‘She’s not always flashy, and there are better speechmakers, but she knows her stuff.’ Man, I’d hate to see Obama set somebody up on a blind date. ‘She’s got one wonky eye and she talks too much, but you don’t wanna die alone, do ya?'” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
I was at a stop light, behind a car with a bumper sticker that said “Honk if you love Jesus.”
So I honked. The driver leaned out his window, gave me an very impolite gesture, and yelled, “Can’t you see the light is still red, you MORON!?” (Our world today!)
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? First Man: “Nenge? Nenge Mboko from Cameroon? It is me, Lionel Joseph.” Second Man: “Lionel – from the African Educational Conference!”
ANSWER: Trading Places! Louis Winthorpe III (Dan Aykroyd) is ‘First Man’ and Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) is ‘Second Man’. This exchange took place when they were on the train and disguised with black face paint, dreadlocks, and African cultural attire. They acted as if they had only met each other once in the past, but it was just a plot to trick the evil Clarence Beeks (Paul Gleason). “Ma-bulee ma-bulee, ma-bulee, Hah! Ma-bulee, ma-bulee, ma-bulee, Hah!” “Trading Places” is definitely one of the funniest movies of all time, and makes a run at “Animal House” and “Caddyshack” for the top spot.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You die. She walks out of here with a severe limp.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Although much water you see,
by definition, “desert” fits me.
In the winter I double in size,
but staying away is a word for the wise.
I am very windy, that is a clue,
What am I? Good luck to you.
ANSWER: Antarctica. Antarctica is full of snow and ice – forms of water. It receives less than 10 inches of precipitation a year, which makes it a desert. In the winter, water freezes around it, doubling its size. The extremely cold temperatures are deadly for humans.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Fill in the blanks below with three 4-letter words that are anagrams of each other (they all contain the same four letters):
“The man ____ ____ of money because he couldn’t walk away from the ____ machines.”
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/