Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, July 27, 2016.    

Business 101……..

A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.

A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.

A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.

A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.

A bird in the hand is dead.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. – Milton Berle

A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. – Abba Eban

A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

A consultant is an ordinary person a long way from home.

A coup that is known in advance is a coup that does not take place.

A couple of months in the lab can often save a couple of hours in the library.

A crisis is when you cannot say “let’s just forget the whole thing.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. George Santayana 

To live is like to love – all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. Samuel Butler 

Less is more. Ludwig Mies van der Rohe 

In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences. Robert Green 

To be or not to be. That’s not really a question. Jean-Luc Godard 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

There was this nun named Sister Mary who, though she tried and tried, could never please the Mother Superior. One day she comes up with an idea: since the abbey was always cold, she decided to cut some wood and build a fire in the fireplace to heat the place up. She spent all day chopping, hauling and stacking wood. Subsequently, she wound up shredding the sleeves of her habit. 

Later that night, as the other nuns came into the rectory, they were delighted to find the place warm and cozy, with a big fire roaring in the fireplace. Then Mother Superior comes in and yells, “Sister Mary! Go fix your torn habit this instant!”

Sister Mary, crying, asks, “But Mother Superior, aren’t you happy that the abbey is warm?” To which the Mother Superior replies, “Yes, but when you ax, then ye shall re-sleeve.”Emoji 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Don’t touch the Johnson bar; it’ll explode the fuel casing! And if the Wilson-Smith indicator gets above one-sixty, just turn that little nut down there one-quarter turn! There’s a little screwdriver there; just put it in and turn it one-quarter. Now, listen Billy, we’re going into a tunnel; don’t stand up because the clearance is only four feet…ugghhh! I’m okay; I was protected by the bill of my Engineer Fred cap!” 

ANSWER: The Jerk! Navin Johnson (Steve Martin) said this after Billy went for a joyride on the miniature train at the carnival. Navin chased him around the track yelling the above quote. The “ugghhh” was when Navin bashed his skull off the tunnel. This is how he met his future wife, though. 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? First Man: “Nenge? Nenge Mboko from Cameroon? It is me, Lionel Joseph.” Second Man: “Lionel – from the African Educational Conference!”

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Find the words that fit in the spaces below, and make two new words.

Example: Air PORT Wine

1. Swimming _ _ _ _ Table

2. Free _ _ _ Ward

3. Wisdom _ _ _ _ _ Ache

4. Bear _ _ _ _ Up

5. Watch _ _ _ _ _ Gang  

ANSWER:  1. POOL  2. WAY  3. TOOTH 4. HOLD  5. CHAIN 

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Although much water you see,

by definition, “desert” fits me.

In the winter I double in size,

but staying away is a word for the wise.

I am very windy, that is a clue,

What am I? Good luck to you.

                                                                

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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