Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, July 19, 2016.    

Here’s the story….. 

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. ‘What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!’, he said to himself. 

As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. 

He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.

At that instant the atheist cried out: ‘Oh my God!…’

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying:

‘You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.  Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?’

The atheist looked directly into the light.

‘It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?’

‘Very well, ‘said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.could you make the BEAR a Christian?

And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: ‘Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen.’

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

“A 94-year-old man from Indiana just became the oldest person to get a six degree black belt in taekwondo. While nobody has the heart to tell him the wooden board he chopped through was just a graham cracker.” -Jimmy Fallon

“The game Pokemon Go is actually making people visit remote, potentially dangerous areas. On the bright side, they finally found a way to get people to attend the Rio Olympics.” -Conan O’Brien

“A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don’t drink at all. At least, that’s what your wife will slur to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice.” -Jimmy Kimmel 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male habits have really begun to get on my nerves. One day, I emerged from the bathroom completely exasperated when I bumped into my husband. 

“What is it with guys that they won’t replace the toilet paper?!” I raged. 

“I know,” he said, nodding in agreement. “I noticed that when I was in there earlier.” Emoji

 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “The hideousness of that foot will haunt my dreams forever.” 

ANSWER: Mr. Deeds! Emilio Lopez (John Turturro) said this when Deeds (Adam Sandler) showed him the “Blackfoot” for the first time. Deeds suffered severe frostbite on his foot when he was a child, and the foot was left with no sensation. To prove this, Deeds had Emilio smack the foot with a fireplace poker several times, to which Deeds did not flinch. 

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I’ve been going to this high school for seven and a half years; I’m no dummy. I know high school girls.”

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Fill in the blanks with four words, such that the first and the fourth are the same, while the second and the third are homonyms.

A jailer _ _, and a jeweler _ _.  

ANSWER:  A jailer watches cells, and a jeweler sells watches. 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

What are the next two numbers in this sequence?

7, 14, 17, 21, 27, 28, 35, 37, ?, ?

 
 
 

                              

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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