Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, July 11, 2016.  

Yes, I am a Senior Citizen.. 

I’m the life of the party – even if it lasts until 8 pm.

I’m very good at opening childproof caps – with a hammer.

I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a thing you’re saying.

I’m very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over…………..

I’m not really grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can’t seem to remember right now.

I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg.

I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen?  

And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?

I’m wondering, if you’re only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

I’m a walking storeroom of facts – I’ve just lost the key to the storeroom door. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father, “Dad, when will I be old enough to do as I please?”  The father answered immediately, “I don’t know, son. Nobody has lived that long yet.”

An English professor announced to the class; “There are two words I don’t allow in my class. One is gross and the other is cool.” From the back of the room a voice called out, “Yeah? So, what are the words?”

Our armored car arrived earlier than usual, so my deposit wasn’t quite ready. As the young man waited patiently for me to secure the bag, I said, “Sorry to hold you up.” “Delay, delay,” he corrected me. “We don’t use that other phrase.”  

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A British friend of mine once found himself at a dinner party sitting next to an attractive American woman. The conversation turned to cricket, and the woman asked my friend to explain the game. 

He agreed and embarked on a lengthy explanation of the mysteries of “silly mid-on,” “fine-leg,” “googly,” “chinaman” and the like. 

At the end he sat back, exhausted. The woman looked at him, shaking her head in wonderment, “That really is remarkable. And to think they do it all on horseback.”Emoji 

 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘By the authority invested in me by Kaiser Wilhelm II, I pronounce you husband and wife. Proceed with the execution.’    

ANSWER:  The African Queen! Spoken by the Captain of the Louisa (Peter Bull) to Charlie Allnut (Humphrey Bogart) and Rose Sayer (Katharine Hepburn).

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘You want me to produce your war? 

 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

There are so many words. If you take the letters found in the word VALENTINES, using the clues below, can you figure out the words that can be made?

1. A number between 8 and 10

2. A person owned by another person

3. An indigenous person

4. To express anger, or a heating duct opening

5. A person who stands watch and/or is watching

6. Necessary to existence or well-being of something

7. A type of beverage served in a pub

8. Agreeably tolerant or permissive

9. Lacking noise

10. Foreign Language

11. Goes away, or items that fall from trees and need raking

12. Opposite of odd  

ANSWER: 1. NINE  2. SLAVE  3. NATIVE  4. VENT  5. SENTINEL  6. VITAL  7. ALE  8. LENIENT  9. SILENT

10. LATIN  11. LEAVES  12. EVEN 

 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

What do these words have in common?

Swan

Cannon

Can

Pencil

Belly

 

                         

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT WORK BANKS.

EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji                                 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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