Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

moses2

WELCOME to Thursday, July 7, 2016.  

Here’s the story…..  

Most people assume WWJD is for “What would Jesus do?” But the initials really have been changed to stand for “What would Jesus drive?” 

One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, “God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.” 

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Jesus to “pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.” 

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses’ followers are warned not to go up a mountain “until the Ram’s horn sounds a long blast.” 

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn’t like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John’s gospel where Christ tells the crowd, “For I did not speak of my own Accord…” 

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that “the roar of Moses’ Triumph is heard in the hills.” 

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: “Joshua’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.” And, following Jesus’ lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda… “The Apostles were in one Accord.”  

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

“Fourth of July, of course, is when we celebrate our breaking away from England. And after Brexit last month, it’s starting to seem like England can’t keep a relationship going.” -Conan O’Brien

“Police in Georgia are looking for people who stole 400,000 toothpicks from a warehouse. Fortunately, one of the suspects has a clear alibi a tiny piece of spinach in his teeth.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Researchers at the Center for Tobacco Control at Scotland University are working on an invention: Talking packs of cigarettes that warn smokers about the side effects of tobacco. I don’t know; that actually might make me START smoking.” -Jimmy Kimmel

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time. 

“Nonsense,” I said, inconsolable. “Men are good for only one thing!” 

“Yes,” my mother interjected, “but how often do you have to parallel park?” Emoji  

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “This is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?” 

ANSWER: Better Off Dead! Curtis Armstrong is quoted as saying this as Charles DeMar in this 1985 film. He can also be seen in all of the additional films that were listed as the multiple choices. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘There is nothing between us. There has never been anything between us. Just air.’   

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

With a little detective work and deep thought, the following facts can make an accurate statement. Can you figure it out? 

11 is a race horse 

12 is 12 

1111 race 

12112  

ANSWER: 11 is a race horse 

12 is one too 

11 won one race 

12 won one too  

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Below are definitions of words (with the length of the word in parentheses), followed by a clue for a broken version of the word. For example:

PONDERING (8)…Monarch after dieting.

Would result in the word “THINKING”, which could be broken into “THIN KING”.

Can you decipher the five words below?

1. Certain Evening (9)…Tiny chess piece
2. Deed Subjects (10)…Cravats that are suitable
3. Ne’er-do-well (11)…Onion performing hip-hop music

4. Hawaiian person, eg. (8)…Confessions of a scandalmonger
5. Buddhist belief (13)…Flower adorning a horse’s bridle

 

                         

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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