Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, July 6, 2016.  

Ponderings  

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? 

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away? 

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”? 

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? 

Why do they report power outages on TV? 

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant? 

Is it possible to be totally partial? 

What’s another word for thesaurus? 

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? 

Would a fly without wings be called a walk? 

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? 

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? 

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off? 

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? 

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? 

When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink? 

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? 

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? 

When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? 

If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?  

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

“Toyota announced another massive recall because their airbags can explode at any moment. Toyota then said, ‘Enjoy your holiday weekend.'” -Conan O’Brien

“The original Brexit is the Fourth of July. It’s my favorite holiday. You don’t have to wrap anything, other than bacon around a hot dog.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A new survey found that half of all American employees have faked a sick day. While the other half have just lied on a survey.” -Jimmy Fallon 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Two guys who worked together were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, the first guy said, “Panty stitcher…I sew the elastic onto women’s panties.”

The clerk looked up panty stitcher in her table. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay. 

The second guy was asked his occupation. “Diesel fitter,” he replied.

Diesel fitter is listed as a skilled job, so the clerk gave the second guy $600 a week. When the first guy found out he was furious. He stormed into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained, “Panty stitchers are unskilled, and diesel fitters are skilled labor.”

“What skill?!” yelled the panty stitcher. “I sew the elastic, and he pulls on it and says, “Yep, dese’ll fit ‘er.”Emoji  

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “What I’m trying to say Julie, is that it’s really hard for me to say what I’m trying to say.” 

ANSWER: Valley Girl! Elizabeth Daily as the sleazy Lauren said this line. She now goes by E.G. Daily and does several cartoon voices, including Tommy Pickles on “The Rugrats” and Buttercup on “The Powerpuff Girls”. 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???   “This is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?”

 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Beginning with the word “AT”, continue adding letters from the given pool to create new words, until you are left with a seven-letter word that means “shaped like an open palm”. You can add a letter to any spot in the word, but you cannot mix-up the order of letters while doing so.

Pool: A E L M P

1) AT

2)

3)

4)

5)

6)  

ANSWER: 1) AT

2) PAT

3) PATE (or PLAT)

4) PLATE

5) PALATE

6) PALMATE 

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

With a little detective work and deep thought, the following facts can make an accurate statement. Can you figure it out? 

11 is a race horse 

12 is 12 

1111 race 

12112

 

                         

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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