WELCOME to Friday, July 1, 2016.
Here’s the story…
A therapist has a theory that the more often couples make love, the happier they are. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love 2 to 3 times a week?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. “How about once a week?” A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. “Once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?”
One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked as this lone aberration disproves his theory. “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “what are you so happy about?”
The man yells, “Today’s the day!” (Life is full of challenges, it’s up to you to manage them…positive/negative)
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great July 4th weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“The British voted to exit the European Union. They call it the Brexit, which, in America, of course is the meal between breakfast and exiting breakfast.” -Stephen Colbert
“The FDA has approved a device for weight loss that sucks the food out of your stomach through an abdominal incision. Or, you could just try a salad some time.” -Conan O’Brien
“A Georgia man is facing charges after he tried to enter a Waffle House completely naked. Ugh. Can you imagine? Walking into a Waffle House barefoot?” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
At an art gallery, a woman and her 10 year old son were having a tough time choosing between two paintings. They finally chose and went with the autumn themed one.
“I see you prefer an autumn scene as opposed to a floral one,” said the gallery owner, who happened to be nearby and witnessed the mother-son interaction.
“No,” said the boy. “This painting is wider, so it’ll cover the three holes I put in the wall.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “All I need is a watermelon and two jelly doughnuts.”
ANSWER: Porky’s! This was said by Dan Monahan who played Pee Wee Morris.
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Six words that contain YO as a letter-pair have had all of their other letters removed and placed into a pool. Put those letters back in their proper places. What are the words?
YO—, YO—-, -YO—, –YO–, —YO-, —-YO
Pool: A, B, B, C, C, D, D, D, E, E, E, E, I, L, M, M, N, N, N, N, P, R, R
ANSWER: YODEL, YONDER, MYOPIC, BEYOND, CANYON, EMBRYO
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
My veins extend beneath the earth,
My hands raised toward the sky,
I can seem to live forever,
Though many times I die.
I cry when I am wounded,
Sweet tears that help me heal,
I mourn and take off all my clothes,
When bitterness I feel.
What am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/