WELCOME to Tuesday, June 28, 2016.
Hilarious Warning Labels…………..
- Do not use house paint on face. Seen on TV in a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.
- Do not drive cars in ocean. Seen in a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.
- Always drive on roads. Not on people. Taken from a car commercial which shows a vehicle ‘body-surfing’ at a concert.
- Take care: new non-slip surface. A sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building.
- Do not sit under coconut trees. A sign on a coconut palm in a car park.
- These rows reserved for parents with children. A sign in a church.
- All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for. A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.
- Malfunction: Too less water. A notice left on a coffee machine.
- Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone. On a form in a clinic.
- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bag of Fritos.
- Fits one head. On a hotel-provided shower cap box.
- Payment is due by the due date. On a credit card statement.
- No small children. On a Laundromat triple washer.
- Toilet Plunger – Caution: Do not use near power lines.
- Dremel Electric Rotary Tool – This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
- Stridex Foaming Face Wash – May contain foam.
- Earplugs – These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe.
- Pine Mountain Fire Logs – Caution: Risk of fire.
- Air Conditioner – Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
- Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish. Found on a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Oscar winner Helen Mirren confirmed that she will be appearing in the eighth ‘Fast and Furious’ film. She’ll be playing a respected actress who needs the money.” -Conan O’Brien
“The temperature hit 112 in Beverly Hills yesterday. That’s dangerous. Experts say the best thing you can do in heat like this is take a screen shot of the weather app and post it to Facebook. That way if you die, you go out with some likes.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Democrats held a big sit-in on the House floor to protest Congress’ refusal to vote on gun control. Or in other words, Democrats were tired of Congress not getting anything done, so they refused to get anything done until someone got something done.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
One woman was talking to her friend, “You should listen to my neighbor,” she says. “She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that’s so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy and cheap; but have you ever heard me say a bad word about him?”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Hey, I like that hat, man. They sell men’s clothes where you got that?”
ANSWER: Footloose! Ren (Kevin Bacon) says this to Willard (Christopher Penn) on his first day at his new school. Willard laughed at it and thought he was funny so they became friends.
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
When I went to the store, I purchased four items. The following shows the cost of three of the items:
The line to the checkout was pretty long, so to quench my boredom I started playing with my pocket calculator while waiting.
I found out, to my surprise, that the four prices of the four items I purchased added to the same number as I got when I multiplied the four prices together.
What was the price of the fourth item?
ANSWER: The three prices add to 1.50 + 3.00 + 4.00 = $8.50.
The three prices multiply to 1.50 x 3.00 x 4.00 = $18.00.
You might be able to see that adding another $0.50 will take the total to $9.00, and multiplying by another $0.50 will take the product to $9.00 also, but the answer can also be found using algebra. Let’s call the unknown price P:
1.50 + 3.00 + 4.00 + P = 1.50 x 3.00 x 4.00 x P
8.50 + P = 18.00 x P
8.50 = 18.00 x P – P
8.50 = 17.00 x P
8.50/17.00 = P
P = 0.50.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
I have 7 letters.
Letters 1-2-6-3-5-4-7 mean the compactness of something.
Letters 7-2-4-5 mean a legendary large, hairy creature that is said to inhabit the Himalayas.
Letters 7-2-3 mean something that is said to show approval, which you wouldn’t be saying if you were trying to 1-2-6-7 something.
Letters 4-5-2-1 mean that everything is equal.
The whole word means a predetermined course of events.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/