Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, June 16, 2016.   

Latest from the Church Pews News….. 

Tonight’s sermon: ‘What is hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.

This afternoon, there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday, at 4pm, there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk come early.

Thursday, at 5pm, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be Little Mothers please meet with the vicar in his office.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Richards to come forward and lay an egg at the altar.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of Roderick James Hillman, the sin of Revd. and Mrs. Hillman.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

‘Help blow up and decorate the church with balloons on Easter morning. 

Meet at 7:30 am to help. Won’t take long!’

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

“A British tech company has debuted new technology that lets clothing store mannequins talk about the outfit they are displaying. Said the inventor, ‘The idea came to me in a nightmare.'” -Seth Meyers

“Scientists have discovered a species of fish that surrounds itself with uglier fish in order to look more attractive. However, scientists could not identify which sorority it belongs to.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting drunk off of alcohol. It’s perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories of alcohol but none of the fun.” -Conan O’Brien  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

 A pretty young blonde stood at the bank cashier’s window and smiled. “I’d like to cash this check, please,” she said, handing it over.

The teller examined the check and said: “Could you identify yourself, Miss?”

For a moment the lovely girl’s brow creased over, then with a bright look she fumbled in her handbag and producing a mirror, glanced in it and with relief said, “Yes! It’s me, all right!” 

The clerk said, “No Ma’am, you misunderstood me. We require a photo identification.”

The girl searched her bag again and found a picture with a group of people. “This is a recent family photo,” she explained. “That’s me, third from the left.”Emoji 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I’d rather be with someone for the wrong reasons then be alone for the right.” 

ANSWER:  Some Kind of Wonderful! Miss Amanda Jones played by Lea Thompson said this quote in this 1987 teen drama. It is your typical boy loves girl from the same side of the tracks, but girl loves boy from the other side of the tracks. The movie also starred Eric Stoltz, Mary Stuart Masterson, and Craig Sheffer.

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “If I’m not engaged by the time I’m twenty I’m gonna kill myself.”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

And now for more mystery quotes in the style of the Vowel-less knights…

1. dn’t knw wh m grndfthr ws; m mch mr cncrnd t knw wht hs grndsn wll b.

2. t’s rnng cts nd dgs t thr!

3. ‘ll gt thrgh, cm hll r hgh wtr.  

ANSWER: 1. I don’t know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.

Bonus: Abraham Lincoln

2. It’s raining cats and dogs out there!

Bonus: Because a very heavy rain on an uninsulated roof sounds like heavy objects are hitting it.

3. I’ll get through, come hell or high water.

Bonus: Cattle ranchers, driving herds to market.  

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

The following sentences have two blanks that can be filled with two words that are anagrams of each other. Please find those words.

1. The _____ on the water was giving the fisherman a headache. “Oh, well”, he thought, “maybe another _____ will help,” as he reached for his cooler.

2. As the two lovers sat quietly staring into _____, they were both glad that they had brought their _____ on this chilly night.

3. It is not that Officer Smith _____ this part of his job, it was just that there was no easy way to tell someone about a _____ in the family.

 

TODAY’S QUIZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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