Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

Monday-motivational-fail

WELCOME to Monday, June 13, 2016.   

Senior Texting Codes……

* CBM – Covered by Medicare

* CUATSC – See You at the Senior Center

* FWBB – Friend with Beta Blockers

* GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

* GHA – Got Heartburn Again

* IMHO – Is My Hearing-Aid On?

* LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Out

* LWO – †Lawrence Welk’s On

* OMMR – On My Massage Recliner

* OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas

* TTYL – Talk to You Louder

* WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?

* WTP – Where’re the Prunes?

* GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!)

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

“A new survey found that the average American child watches 24 hours of TV every week. In fact, experts say it’s important for parents to lay down the law and tell their kids to get outside and look at their phones.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Scientists believe the first modern Europeans mated with Neanderthals. This is the oldest evidence yet of beer goggles.” -Conan O’Brien

“A new study suggests that marriage is more beneficial for men than women. The results of the study were shouted at me through a locked bedroom door.” -Seth Meyers 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

 Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Eric what the problem is.

“Well,” said Eric, “I ran afoul of one of those trick questions women ask. Now I’m in deep trouble at home.”

“What kind of question?” asked Tom.

“My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly.”

“That’s easy,” said Tom. “You just say ‘Of course I will'”.

“Yeah,” said Eric, “That’s what I did, except I said, ‘Of course I DO….'”  Emoji

 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Men…can’t live with ’em, can’t shoot ’em.”

ANSWER:  St. Elmo’s Fire! Ally Sheedy’s character Leslie Hunter said this in conversation with Demi Moore’s character Jules. This is another extremely popular flick from 1985 that also starred Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe, and Andrew McCarthy.

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “My mother is in there crying and I hope your happy.”

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Each group of definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing. The length of the words in each group is provided. 

1) a long step & a conflict or struggle & to hit sharply (6 letters)

2) medicinal ointment & a device that regulates flow through a pipe & to divide into two equal parts (5 letters)

3) not coarse & a musical instrument & a collection of papers (4 letters)

4) meager & sweet baked good & storage room for food (6 letters) 

ANSWER: 1) stride, strife, strike

2) salve, valve, halve

3) fine, fife, file

4) paltry, pastry, pantry

 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

In each sentence below, the name of a fruit is hidden. Each of these fruits end with the word ‘berry’. You won’t find the word ‘berry’ itself hidden there of course, but try to find the missing part of each fruit to give it its full name. 

1. He looked blue in the face from too much exposure to the freezing cold outside.

2. Boys, enter at your own risk!

3. We have a beautiful farm out in the countryside and we own a few goats, duck and one goose.

4. She got cranky when people pointed out her mistake.

5. The children are scared of his raspy voice, and stay well away from his house.

6. After a hard day’s work at the farm, the horse gratefully collapsed on the straw heap.

7. Too late! The cake had turned into a black charred mass because everyone forgot about it!

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s