WELCOME to Friday, June 3, 2016.
- Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
- Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
- Doesn’t borrow money too often
- Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
- Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
- Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
- Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
- Appreciates a good TV dinner
- Remembers your name on occasion
- Shaves some weekends
- Doesn’t scare small children
- Remembers where bathroom is
- Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
- Only snores lightly when asleep
- Remembers why he’s laughing
- Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
- Usually wears some clothes
- Likes soft foods
- Remembers where he left his teeth
- Remembers that it’s the weekend
- Doesn’t miss the toilet
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
- Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
- Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
- Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
- A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Three older ladies were discussing the problems of getting older. One said, ‘Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front of the refrigerator, and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich’.
The second lady chimed in, ‘Yes, sometimes I find myself standing on the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.’
The third one responded, ‘Well, I am glad I don’t have that problem; knock on wood, ‘as she rapped her knuckles on the table. She looked up and said, ‘That must be the door, I’ll get it!’
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Two hits, me hitting you, you hitting the floor.”
Answer: The Breakfast Club! Emilio Estevez’s character Andy said this during his confrontation with John Bender played by Judd Nelson. Anthony Michael Hall, Molly Ringwald, and Ally Sheedy also starred in this immensely popular teen film from 1985.
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? Troy’s father: “Is your mommy here?”Brandon: “No sir. Actually she’s out at the market buying Pampers for all us kids.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Beginning with the word “AN”, continue adding letters from the given pool to create new words until you are left with a seven-letter word that refers to “an object found in space”. You can add a letter to any spot in the word, but you cannot mix up the order of letters while doing so.
Pool: E L P S T
ANSWER: 1) AN 2) ANT 3) PANT 4) PANTS 5) PLANTS 6) PLANETS
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Explosive as the daylight and with the dust I tease,
I whisper through the willows, wreak havoc with the leaves.
You feel me on your face, and hear me in the night,
And with my lonely mournful cries I give you such a fright .
I dance across the landscape, carefree and full of gust,
You can chase me all around, try and catch me if you must .
And in the cold of winter I give you such a chill,
But with the spring I race young foals swiftly up the hills.
The clues now spoken you have my friend, have you guessed me yet ?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/