WELCOME to Thursday, June 2, 2016.
What Women Want in a Man. Age 20
- Financially successful
- A caring listener
- In good shape
- Dresses with style
- Appreciates finer things
- Full of thoughtful surprises
- An imaginative, romantic lover
- Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
- Opens car doors, holds chairs
- Has enough money for a nice dinner
- Listens more than talks
- Laughs at my jokes
- Carries bags of groceries with ease
- Owns at least one tie
- Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
- Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
- Seeks romance at least once a week
- Not too ugly (bald head OK)
- Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
- Works steady – splurges on dinner out occasionally
- Nods head when I’m talking
- Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
- Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
- Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
- Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
- Remembers to put the toilet seat down
- Shaves most weekends
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“The Wall Street Journal just reported that America has a surplus of cheese and that every person in the country would have to eat an extra three pounds of cheese this year to get rid of it. So the next time the pizza guy judges you for ordering extra cheese, just say, ‘I’m doing this for America.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“After being arrested for crashing his car into a shopping mall, a Florida man explained to police that he was trying to time-travel. Which is crazy. If you want to travel 50 years into the future, just leave Florida.” -Seth Meyers
“A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
When my 14-year-old son, Patrick, stepped up to the plate during a Colt League baseball game, the young announcer declared, “Now batting, the right fielder, number 12, Pathogen!”
After some confusion in the stands, the announcer came back on over the loudspeaker. “Sorry folks, that’s PAT Hogan!”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “So what would you little maniacs like to do first?”
Answer: Weird Science! This was Kelly LeBrock’s first line of this 1985 teen classic. The John Hughes film also starred Anthony Michael Hall.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Two hits, me hitting you, you hitting the floor.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Though my gray beginnings are not so pretty,
I grow quite well into my beauty.
Alabaster white or black as night,
My grace is known world wide.
I may make my home in the chilly Arctic,
I’m also known well down under,
From North America to South America I may be known to trumpet.
As a female I may Pen my name,
While the males may prefer to pick at a Cob.
But near or far my beauty is known by lore and by myth.
ANSWER: A swan.
A female swan is a pen and a male swan is a cob.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Beginning with the word “AN”, continue adding letters from the given pool to create new words until you are left with a seven-letter word that refers to “an object found in space”. You can add a letter to any spot in the word, but you cannot mix up the order of letters while doing so.
Pool: E L P S T
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS!
INCREDIBLE SOLVING JOB BANKS!
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/