WELCOME to Wednesday, May 25, 2016.
Funny Marriage Notions Worth Remembering….
1. The matrimonial pollsters contend their studies indicate the man who kisses his wife good-bye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than does the fellow who doesn’t do that thing. Husbands who exercise the rituals of affection tend to be more painstaking, more stable, more methodical, thus higher earners, it’s believed.
2. The heart is the most common symbol of romantic love. Ancient cultures believed the human soul lived in the heart. Others thought it to be the source of emotion and intelligence. Some believed the heart embodied a man’s truth, strength and nobility. The heart may be associated with love because the ancient Greeks believed it was the target of Eros, known as Cupid to the Romans. Anyone shot in the heart by one of Cupid’s arrows would fall hopelessly in love. Because the heart is so closely linked to love, it’s red color is thought to be the most romantic.
3. To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong admit it;
Whenever you’re right shut up. – Ogden Nash.
4. Marriage is a very expensive way to get your laundry done. Marriage contract – St Catherine?
Marriage is an institution where two people come together to joint solve the problems they never had before they got married.
5. The alleged most commonly used words of endearment: Honey (48%), Baby (44%), Sweetheart (41%), Dear (39%), Lover (32%), Darling (31%), Sugar (24%), Angel (20%), Pumpkin (13%), Beautiful (6%).
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.” –Groucho Marx
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” –Henny Youngman
“In love, one and one are one.” –Jean-Paul Sartre
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Philip was enjoying the second week of a two-week vacation the same way he had enjoyed the first week: by doing as little as possible.
He ignored his wife Paula’s not-so-subtle hints about completing certain jobs around the house, but Philip didn’t realize how much this bothered her until the clothes dryer refused to work, the iron shorted and the sewing machine motor burned out in the middle of a seam. The final straw came when she plugged in the vacuum cleaner and nothing happened.
Paula looked so stricken that I had to offer some consolation.
‘That’s OK, darling,’ Philip said. ‘You still have me.’
Paula looked up at him with tears in her eyes. ‘Yes, Philip,’ she wailed, ‘but you don’t work either.’
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Velcro. Next to the Walkman and Tab it is the coolest invention of the 20th Century!”
Answer: Girls Just Want to Have Fun! This quote was said by Lynne Stone played by Helen Hunt. This 1984 dance flick also starred Sarah Jessica Parker, Shannen Doherty, Lee Montgomery, and Johnathon Silverman.
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You said you couldn’t believe in anyone who didn’t believe in you. I believed in you. I just didn’t believe in me.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
John, Paul, George, and Ringo all enter a race, but there is nobody at the finish line to judge the ending. When the judge finally shows up to award the prize for coming in first, these are the statements the four of them make:
John: I was neither first nor last.
Paul: I did not finish last.
George: I won the race!
Ringo: I came in last.
The judge starts to hand George the prize, when Yoko, who was watching the race, says, “Exactly one of these four is lying.”
To whom should the judge grant the prize?
ANSWER: The prize should go to Paul.
If John is lying, then George and Ringo would be telling the truth, which would mean John was not lying, so he can’t be the liar.
If Paul was lying, then Ringo would also be lying, so he must be telling the truth, as well.
So we now know that neither John nor Paul finished last. If Ringo was lying, then George would have finished last, which would mean that he was lying, as well. So Ringo can’t be lying.
This leaves George as our liar, so we know George did not finish first. Neither did Ringo (he finished last), nor did John (he finished neither first nor last). Therefore, Paul won the race!
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
In this teaser, your job is to discover the missing word that links the two given words. The dashes indicate the number of letters in the missing word. Good luck!
i.e. WAR – FARE – WELL
1. ARM _ _ _ _ _ LIFT
2. CREAM _ _ _ _ ADDER
3. WOOD _ _ _ _ BENCH
4. SHOULDER _ _ _ _ _ POCKET
5. CANDY _ _ _ _ WASHER
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/