Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

Funny-Tires-You-Need-Them-17

WELCOME to Thursday, May 19, 2016.  

Evening Classes for Men…………

1) LOSS OF VIRILITY

Losing the remote control to your significant other – Help line and support groups

2) HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH

PowerPoint Presentation

3) REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST

Real life testimonial from the one man who did

4) IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?

Driving simulation

5) LIVING WITH ADULTS; 

BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER

Online class and role playing

6) HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION Relaxation exercises,

meditation and breathing techniques

7) REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE

Bring your calendar or smartphone to class

8) GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME

Individual counselors available

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Google has created several new emojis aimed at empowering women. So congratulations women, you asked for equal pay and you got five new emojis.” -Conan O’Brien

“A 70-year-old woman in India recently gave birth to a baby boy. The baby and his mother are doing fine. The doctor, however, is still recovering.” -Seth Meyers

“Today it was announced that a Russian man will be the recipient of the world’s first head transplant. Could you imagine getting a new body and then looking in the mirror and being like, ‘Seriously? A butterfly tattoo?'” -James Corden 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any. 

So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?” 

The produce guy looked at me and said, “No, sir, you’ll have to do that yourself.” Emoji   

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “He’s a beach dog.” 

Answer:  Summer School! Freddie Shoop (Mark Harmon), said this to the cops when they were arresting him for furnishing alcohol to minors. The cops also threatened to fine him for having a dog on the beach. He tried to lie his way out of it by saying, “That’s not my dog. He’s a stray. I found him on the beach. He’s a beach dog.” “Summer School” (1987) is a very funny, yet underrated, comedy movie. It also stars Kirstie Alley, Dean Cameron, Shawnee Smith, and Courtney Thorne-Smith.  

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “He’s nothing; don’t worry about him. It’s The Blimp next to him…The Blimp! When he puts on that mask, he’ll blow your darn doors off!” 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

1. How will you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?

2. How will you put a zebra in a fridge in 4 steps?

3. The King of the Jungle, the lion, is having a wedding ceremony. All of the animals come to attend the ceremony except one. Which one is it and why doesn’t it come?

4. A man has to desperately cross the river to get from one place to the other in a jungle. The river is known for having deadly alligators in it. There is no boat. How is he going to make it to the other place? 

ANSWER: 1. Step one: Open the fridge Step two: Put the elephant inside  Step three: Close the fridge

2. Step one: Open the fridge  Step two: Take the elephant out  Step three: Put the zebra inside  Step four: Close the fridge
3. Zebra, because he is inside the fridge  4. He will simply swim through the river, as all the alligators have gone to attend the lion’s wedding ceremony. 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

What does this mean?

tree ri_ge tree

 
 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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