Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

good-bad-grumpy

WELCOME to Monday, May 9, 2016.  

Definition of Murphy’s Law

If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong Murphy’s law: If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong

(Sometimes known as the 4th law of Thermodynamics).

I have traced Murphy’s law back to a Captain Edward A. Murphy, an American engineer at Muroc, California (later named Edwards Air Force Base).  In 1949 he was working on a project to test the effects of sudden braking.  Time after time his machinery failed, exasperated he said of his technician, ‘If there is any way to do it wrong, he’ll  find it.’ John Paul Stapp picked up on Murphy’s phrase and used at a press conference.

As with any good idea, Murphy’s Law can be adapted and extended.

1st Amendment

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

2nd Amendment

If you realize that there are three possible ways in which something can go wrong, and cover them all, then a fourth, unprepared for way, will miraculously appear out of thin air.

3rd Amendment

When something breaks, the parts damaged are in direct proportion to their value.

4th Amendment

The failure does not appear until the machinery has passed its final inspection.

5th Amendment

When you drop a part, it always rolls into the darkest corner.

Last Amendment to Murphy’s law

Any attempt to print out this copy of Murphy’s law will crash your computer.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Researchers are claiming that humans can only maintain close relationships with five people. Which should make for an interesting Mother’s Day for my mom and her six kids.” -Conan O’Brien

“Industry experts are speculating that Chipotle could be planning to add breakfast options. Of course, Chipotle already has a breakfast option. It’s the half a burrito you woke up next to.” -Seth Meyers 

“The U.S. Surgeon General released a statement this week that said more Americans should start going on walks. Then to everyone’s surprise, he added, ‘Even if you’re just going out to have a smoke. Just stand up for once.'” -Jimmy Fallon  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument. 

“Are there two pints in a quart or four?” asked one. 

“There be two pints in a quart,” confirmed the proprietor. 

They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order. 

“Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us.” 

The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, “You did say two pints, didn’t you?” 

“That’s right,” he called back, “two pints.”   

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “And that’s the only thing I need is this! I don’t need this or this, just this ashtray. And this paddle game; the ashtray and the paddle game, and that’s all I need…and this remote control. The ashtray and the paddle game and the remote control, and that’s all I need…and these matches. The ashtray and these matches and the remote control and the paddle ball…and this lamp.”

Answer: The Jerk! Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin) said this while in a drunken state when he was leaving his wife and his home and was walking out the door. He also picked up a magazine and a chair during this rant and walked out the door with his pants down to his ankles. He later traded all these items to a bum for a thermos with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in. This movie is one of the all-time classics. 

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  “Mama says alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.”  

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

The following are colloquialisms/idioms written in their literal form. Try to find all four.

Example: A Panthera Pardus is incapable of altering its texture. (A leopard can’t change its spots)

1. A colorless crystalline carbon existing within an uncouth environment.

2. Descending in the manner of the order of Diptera.

3. A late pop singer has departed from the premises. 

4. To be delivered by metallic object that brings forth a great ringing noise. 

ANSWER: 1. A Diamond in the Rough–A term referring to someone with good character, but lacking social grace.

2. Dropping like flies–This means to lose attention or become bored easily. It can also mean for a large number of people to get sick very rapidly.

3. Elvis has left the building–It was an announcement made at the end of Elvis’ concerts to get fans to leave. It is now used when a major event has ended.

4. Saved by the bell–Now used when someone is in trouble, and is saved by an unrelated cause.

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) no-cost fish lures & honey shipment

2) leaping legumes & colliding dungarees

3) crustacean movement & criminal sunscreen

4) baseball term & seasonal pig

 
 
 
 

THE QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT WORK BANKS!

 EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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