WELCOME to Wednesday, April 27, 2016.
Men Are Just Happier People…….
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You can never be pregnant.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can open all your own jars.
You can play with toys all your life.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Your underwear is $9.95 for a three-pack.
You never have strap problems in public.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You! are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.” –Joan Rivers
“One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.” –Oscar Wilde
“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.” –Albert Einstein
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Father Henry was planning a wedding at the close of the morning service. After the benediction Father Henry had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married.
‘Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?’ Father Henry requested.
Immediately; nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Get out, go anywhere you want, go to a hotel, go live with her, and don’t come back! Because, after 25 years of building a home and raising a family and all the senseless pain that we have inflicted on each other, I’m damned if I’m going to stand here and have you tell me you’re in love with somebody else!’
Answer: Network! Louise Schumacher (Beatrice Straight) goes off on her husband (William Holden) when he tells her about the affair he’s having with a network exec (Faye Dunaway).
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you, Peter Pan. That’s where I’ll be waiting.’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Before I came, confusion abounded.
I’m late, I’m late was frequently sounded.
I’m not average, but was based on a mean.
My size, in theory, is constant: fifteen.
I’m two dozen steps, again in theory.
But walk my length and you’d get weary.
I take half and quarter steps at times.
In reality, I don’t follow the lines.
I shrink to nothing in two cold extremes.
Over a thousand miles wide in the betweens.
What am I?
ANSWER: Time zones. Before the invention of standard time zones, each city or region could have its own local time. This became increasingly awkward as railways and telecommunications improved.
Originally, time zones based their time on Greenwich Mean Time (GMT). Mean solar time is defined by the rotation of the Earth, which is not constant in rate. Starting January 1, 1972, a new system was used, Coordinated Universal Time (UTC), which used a fixed rate and added leap seconds when necessary to compensate for variations in the rotation of the Earth.
In theory, there are 24 time zones, making each a constant 15 degrees of longitude apart. A time zone varies in width from zero miles at both poles to over 1000 miles at the equator.
In reality, there are about 40 time zones, and the border between time zones is irregular, following political or geographical boundaries. The island of Newfoundland, India, and parts of Australia use half-hour deviations from standard time, and some nations use quarter-hour deviations.
Canada’s Sir Sandford Fleming first proposed time zones for the entire world in 1876. Most major countries had adopted hourly time zones by 1929.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
An anagram is a word or phrase formed by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. For example, rearrange “none” to get “neon”.
It is not considered an anagram if you exchange a letter with the same letter. For example, switching the n’s with each other in “noun” does not give an anagram.
Even though a word is not considered an anagram of itself, your task is to find a word that is an anagram of itself. If you can do the seemingly impossible once, you might as well find a second word that is an anagram of itself.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/