Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, April 26, 2016.  

Here’s the Story….

There is an ancient Chinese story of a farmer who used an old horse to till his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer’s neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, ‘Bad luck? Good luck?  Who knows?’   

A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, ‘Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?’

Then, when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck.  Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, ‘Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?’

Some weeks later, an army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer’s son with his broken leg, they let him off. Now was that good luck or bad luck? Who knows?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“I want to wish everyone a happy Tax Day. I guess it’s only happy if you get money back. I hate that you have to put stamps on the envelope to send in. They can’t just throw that in? They charge us $1.41 to have the honor of sending them half the money we earn this year.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Harriet Tubman will be replacing Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. It’s truly exciting to have a woman on there. Although, unfortunately, due to the wage gap, it is now worth $17.” -Stephen Colbert

“Today is Earth Day. Environmentalists spent the day drawing attention to the Earth, while the Earth just spent the day checking Facebook to see which planets wished it a happy Earth Day.” -Jimmy Fallon  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking. 

“Next question,” announced the instructor. “How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?”

I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, “How do you spell ‘intellectual?'” Emoji 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’m somebody now, Harry. Everybody likes me. Soon, millions of people will see me and they’ll all like me. I’ll tell them about you, and your father, how good he was to us. Remember? It’s a reason to get up in the morning. It’s a reason to lose weight, to fit in the red dress. It’s a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right. What have I got Harry, hm? Why should I even make the bed, or wash the dishes? I do them, but why should I? I’m alone. Your father’s gone, you’re gone. I got no one to care for. What have I got, Harry? I’m lonely. I’m old.’ 

Answer: Requiem for a Dream! Sara (Ellen Burstyn) tells her son Harry (Jared Leto) the tragic truth of the benefits of her drug addiction. Burstyn’s performance in this film was devastatingly powerful.  

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Get out, go anywhere you want, go to a hotel, go live with her, and don’t come back! Because, after 25 years of building a home and raising a family and all the senseless pain that we have inflicted on each other, I’m damned if I’m going to stand here and have you tell me you’re in love with somebody else!’ 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed to form another word that is the answer to this teaser:

DOD Take letter 1 

ONRUM Take letters 1,2 & 5

CROSITH Take letters 1,2 & 3

ERVNE Take letters 1,2

Unscramble the letters you collected… what do you get?

ANSWER: DOD Take letter 1 – ODD, take O

ONRUM Take letters 1,2 & 5 – MOURN, take M,O,N

CROSITH Take letters 1,2 & 3 – OSTRICH, take OST

ERVNE Take letters 1,2 – NEVER, take N,E

Unscramble the above to get ‘Moonstone’.

The Moonstone is known because of the way it catches the light and gives out a mystical gleam. The way the light appears changes as you change the position of the moonstone. In ancient times, these changes to the glowing gem was associated with the waxing and waning of the moon.

Moonstone is the perfect choice for soft, sensuous, feminine jewellery because of its beautiful glow.

In different cultures, the moonstone represents various things. In India, it is believed to bring sweet dreams. In Arab countries, it is a symbol of fertility. It is also believed to enhance feelings of intuition and sensitivity. 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Before I came, confusion abounded.

I’m late, I’m late was frequently sounded.

I’m not average, but was based on a mean.

My size, in theory, is constant: fifteen.

I’m two dozen steps, again in theory.

But walk my length and you’d get weary.

I take half and quarter steps at times.

In reality, I don’t follow the lines.

I shrink to nothing in two cold extremes.

Over a thousand miles wide in the betweens.

What am I?

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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