Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

funny-puns-sherbert

WELCOME to Friday, April 22, 2016.   

Irrelevant facts……

Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star.Emoji

The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in Jello.

Even if you cut off a cockroach’s head, it can live for several weeks.

The world population of chickens is about equal to the number of people.

Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured iced water over his head.

About 70% of Americans who go to college do it just to make more money.

It’s against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.

Some toothpastes contain antifreeze.

Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns. 

Millie, the White House dog, earned more than 4 times as much as President Bush in 1999.

Bird droppings are the chief export of Nauru, an island nation in the western Pacific.

Spotted skunks do handstands before they spray.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Lee Harvey Oswald’s cadaver tag sold at an auction for $6,600 in 1992.

Mosquitoes have teeth.

Hypnotism is banned by public schools in San Diego.

When snakes are born with two heads, they fight each other for food.

Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. Samuel Butler

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable. Mark Twain

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy. Ambrose Bierce

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. W.C. Fields

The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side. James Baldwin  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

A Year 5 teacher was giving her Primary pupils a lesson in developing logical thinking.

‘This is the scene’, said the teacher.

‘A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?’

A little girl raised her hand and asked, ‘To draw out all his savings?’  

 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘They don’t even know what it is to be a fan. Y’know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts…’

Answer:  Almost Famous! Sapphire (Fairuza Balk) explains the difference between band-aids and casual fans. This movie, written and directed by Cameron Crowe, was also loosely based on his own life.  

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘You know how it is, the beginnings? When you first fall in love and you can’t eat, you can’t sleep and getting a call from her, it makes your day. It’s like seeing a shooting star.’  

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Gretchen just returned from the beach, and told her brother Henry that she found three interesting types of shells. He asked what they were, and she answered with these rebuses:

LL

LL

AA

CC

SS

1. Nice Naughty Nice Naughty

2. Naughty Nice Naughty Nice

*3. Nice Nice Nice Nice

After thinking for a while, Henry says, “I get the first two types of shells, but didn’t you say you found three?”

“Oops! I almost forgot!” replies Gretchen, as she hits her brother on the head.

“Now I know them all!” he laughs. 

ANSWER:The first type were scallops (SCALL-ups). The second was nautilus (Naughty-less). And the last was conch (conk!).    

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Add a different set of three letters to each of the following words to create a list of new words. The three-letter additions all have something in common. What are the new words, and how are the three-letter additions related? 

EASE

GIN

HEM

ICE

ON

OPUS

RILE

TIC

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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