WELCOME to Wednesday, April 13, 2016.
Obituary – Common Sense……
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain
Why the early bird gets the worm
Life isn’t always fair
and maybe it was my fault
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I’m A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.” –Burt Bacharach
“One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises one makes.” –Friedrich Nietzsche
“Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.” –Groucho Marx
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
George, Jack and Simon were at a conference together in Chicago and they were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long day of meetings they were upset to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
George said to Jack and Simon, let’s break the boredom of this horrendous climb by concentrating on something more interesting. I’ll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jack can sing songs for 25 flights, and Simon can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor George stopped telling jokes and Jack began to sing. At the 51st floor Jack stopped singing and Simon began to tell sad stories.
‘I will tell my saddest story first,’ he muttered gloomily, ‘I left our room key in the car.’
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Whether it’s important to you or not, there are people out there who don’t care about money, who don’t give a damn about respect. People who believe the killing of innocent men and women is justified. For them it is about rage, frustration, hatred… they feel pain and they’re determined to share it with the world.’
Answer: The Peacemaker! Nicole Kidman’s character says this to George Clooney’s character, arguing that not all terrorists have a business mindset.
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘People hurt the ones they love. That’s how it is all around the world.’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
In these Word Pyramids, the first letter is given to you (which is the first answer). Use the clues to build the pyramid to find the answer. In each consecutive answer, a letter is added to the previous answer. However, the answer letters might not be in the same order. Good Luck!!
Starting letter: D
1. pop-up material
3. uttered aloud
4. surprise attacks
5. render harmless
6. indefinite number
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
I can run swiftly and silently when you want me to stay still,
I can move slowly and cautiously and am yours to fill.
You look at me often and yet you always forget me,
I am the most feared killer, yet you can’t live without me.
Sometimes you have me for all to spare,
Yet when you need me, I am not there.
You can waste me, or cherish me, you choose the track,
But once you’re done you can never get me back.
TUESDAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SUPER JOB BANKS!
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/