Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, April 12, 2016.   

Twelve Rules of Life…
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government programme.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget 

to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Two thieves robbed the Make-A-Wish Foundation office in San Francisco. Someone should tell these burglars that it really is just an office building. They don’t keep actual wishes in there.” -James Corden 

“The British tabloid, The Mirror, published a story about a woman who faked her own death to break off a relationship after the man wouldn’t leave her alone. Ahh, yes, the old ‘It’s not you, I’m dead’ approach.” -Seth Meyers

“A new study found that many popular oregano brands are really olive leaves and other leaves falsely labeled as oregano. Or as high school stoners put it, ‘Wait, this still isn’t marijuana?'” -Jimmy Fallon 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Checking the menu, Barry, a restaurant customer, ordered a bowl of soup. After a couple of spoonfuls, he saw a circle of wetness right under the bowl on the tablecloth. He called the waitress over and said, ‘It’s all wet down here. The bowl must be cracked.’

The waitress said, ‘You ordered vegetable soup, didn’t you?’

‘Yes,’ Barry replied grimacing

‘Well, maybe it has a leek in it!’, interjected the waitress. 

 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? Donnie Smith: ‘I’m sick and I’m in love.’

Thurston Howell: ‘You seem the sort of person who confuses the two.’ Donnie Smith: ‘That’s right. That’s the first time you’ve been right. I confuse the two and I don’t care.’ 

Answer: Magnolia! Quiz Kid Donnie Smith (William H. Macy) has just poured his heart out to Bartender Brad, and had a less than enthusiastic response. Brad’s older patron (and admirer) Mr. Howell (Henry Gibson) patronizes Donnie about his feelings as some salt to rub in the wounds. 

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Whether it’s important to you or not, there are people out there who don’t care about money, who don’t give a damn about respect. People who believe the killing of innocent men and women is justified. For them it is about rage, frustration, hatred… they feel pain and they’re determined to share it with the world.’

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

There are seven parts to this riddle,

Each is part of a greater whole.

You see most of these,

Everyday as you please:

First is what I did to a book yesterday,

Second mixes with apples.

Third is a shout, then “ouch” you say,

Fourth shares the sound of mean.

Fifth is what the wind had done,

The sixth is often skipped.

The last and final can be called by two names,

If roses are this, then which is the blue one? 

ANSWER: The 7 Colors of the Rainbow

Red: read a book

Orange: apples and oranges

Yellow: Yell and Ow

Green: Rhymes with “Mean”

Blue: The wind “blew”

Indigo is often skipped

Violet: Roses are red, Violets are blue. 

 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

In these Word Pyramids, the first letter is given to you (which is the first answer). Use the clues to build the pyramid to find the answer. In each consecutive answer, a letter is added to the previous answer. However, the answer letters might not be in the same order. Good Luck!!

Starting letter: D

Clues:

1. pop-up material

2. assist

3. uttered aloud

4. surprise attacks

5. render harmless

6. indefinite number

7. polyhedrons

 

 

TUESDAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SUPER JOB BANKS!

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LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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