Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, April 8, 2016.  

Wise One-liners………….

A boiled egg is hard to beat.A calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you’ve seen one shopping centre you’ve seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead the dough basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so: Douglas Adams

We can only learn to love by loving: Iris Murdock

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes: Oscar Wilde

These days people seek knowledge, not wisdom. Knowledge is of the past, wisdom is of the future: Vernon Cooper

Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don’t: Pete Seeger

A drunk is in front of a judge. The judge says, ‘You’ve been brought here for drinking.’ The drunk says, ‘Okay, let’s get started.’ – Henny Youngman

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine”. – Tommy Cooper.

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Dwayne is a strong young man at the construction site and he was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen, George. After several minutes, George had had as much as he was willing to take. ‘OK, Dwayne, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?’ he stated thoughtfully. ‘I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.’

‘You’re on, old man,’ Dwayne, the braggart replied, smirking. ‘Let’s see what you got.’

George, the old fellow, reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to Dwayne, he said, ‘All right. Get in.’Emoji 

 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘He’s a fountain of misplaced rage. Name your cliche; mother held him too much or not enough, last picked at kickball, late night sneaky uncle, whatever. Now he’s so angry that moments of levity actually cause him pain; give him headaches. Happiness, for that gentleman, hurts.’ 

Answer: Con Air! Steve Buscemi’s character says this line. This action movie was pretty ridiculous, but it had an intriguing cast (Buscemi, John Malkovich, John Cusack). 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Women. Nice ones, the most frigid of the race, it doesn’t matter in the end. Inside they’re all the same meat and gristle and hatred just simmering.’

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

 In the following list, the words are out of order (the correct order is NOT alphabetical). Can you figure out the pattern and put them in the proper order? 

A. Leaf

B. Part

C. Mitt

D. Corn

E. Saw

ANSWER: The words, when combined with the placement letter, form new words.

A. Corn (Acorn)

B. Leaf (Belief)

C. Saw (See-Saw)

D. Part (Depart)

E. Mitt (Emit) 

 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Art is to be appreciated from afar, rarely touched, and certainly never altered from the artist’s original vision. One would never pencil in eyebrows on the Mona Lisa or dare to bolt mannequin arms to the Venus de Milo.

Yet, despite all this, there is a well-known piece of art that has been blatantly defaced. What is even stranger is that the offending defacer, though he meant to do his nasty work, did not WANT to. His identity was known, yet he was never arrested and never punished. Quite the opposite, his defacement was encouraged by the highest of powers in his day.

What is the piece of art?

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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