WELCOME to Wednesday, April 6, 2016.
Here are a dozen or so useful pieces of advice designed to put you in a reflective mood.
I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
As I’ve Matured… I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others — they are more screwed up than you think.
I’ve learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.
I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I’ve learned that ex’s are like fungus, which keeps coming back.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Finally, I’ve learned that I don’t suffer from insanity – I enjoy it!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin
muscle. It wasn’t mine.” –Rita Rudner
“I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree
of responsibility that comes with his freedom.” –Bob Dylan
“The modern rule is that every woman should be her own
chaperon.” –Amy Vanderbilt
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A traffic policeman stops Maggie and asks to see her driving licence.
‘Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.’
‘Well, Officer,’ explains Maggie, ‘I have contacts.’
‘Lady, I don’t care who you know, you’re still going to get a ticket.’
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘I do not know love. I was trained to protect, not to love.’
Answer: The Fifth Element! Leeloo bemoans her lacking education. Of course, in order for her to be effective as the fifth element, Korben has to reassure her that she does know love. Lucky thing they’re in love.
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘The American people want somebody to articulate their rage for them.’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
ANSWER: Eleanor Roosevelt
‘L’ in ‘or’
rows of ‘elt’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
It doesn’t hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time. This little test should help you get started.
During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines if a patient should be institutionalized.
“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub.”
Okay, here’s your test:
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?
“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would choose the bucket, as it is larger than the spoon.”
What was the director’s response?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/