Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

forgetful

WELCOME to Friday, April 1, 2016.  

Funny Wisdom for April Fools Day……

If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don’t have a leg to stand on.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don’t have film.

If you dig a hole for someone else, you’ll fall into it. – Hungarian proverb

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.  

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

You never truly understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget 

to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace. – Helen Keller

People seldom do what they believe in, they do what is convenient, and then repent. – Bob Dylan

Is life worth living? It all depends on the liver. – William James

The wise man has long ears and a short tongue. – Anonymous.

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. – Jimi Hendrix

Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. – Unknown, but often attributed to Albert Camus

The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and hold them in the 

right scale of values. – Norman Thomas

Democracy is the process by which people choose the man 

who’ll get the blame. – Bertrand Russell

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and 

I’m not sure about the former. – Albert Einstein

I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it. – Groucho Marx 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

A few years ago, I decided to visit my sister who was living in France. I assumed that most French would speak English. I found that many people spoke only their own language and this included the ticket inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making several expansive gestures. I simply nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested.  When he had gone, an American tourist, also on the train, leaned forward and asked if I spoke French.  ‘No’, I admitted.  ‘Then that explains’, she said, ‘why you didn’t bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train.’Emoji 

 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’m, like, 98% excited, and maybe 2% scared. Or maybe it’s backwards. Maybe I’m 98% scared, and, like, 2% excited. But that’s what makes it so great – I’m so confused!’ 

Answer: Armageddon! Owen Wilson’s character says this line. This movie was directed by Michael Bay, who went on to do ‘Pearl Harbor’ (2001). ‘Armageddon’ stank, in my opinion. I think most people turned out because of the star power, but lord only knows how they got those actors to sign on with a script like that one (except for that ever-persuasive promise of money). 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’m scared to close my eyes. I’m scared to open them.’

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Seven letters are we,

Four different words we make.

Guess us or be ridiculed;

Your reputation’s at stake. 

The first has pictures,

Paintings and such.

The second causes sneezing,

From ragweed or dust.

The third is an adverb, 

It’s hard to explain

It’s the same as immensely

But it’s much more plain.

If you can act like a king,

this word you will sing. 

These clues are sparse

This riddle may be tough.

But if you are smart

Then it will be enough. 

ANSWER:  Gallery, Allergy, Largely and Regally

A gallery has pictures and paintings

Allergies make you sneeze

Largely is somewhat difficult to describe – it is certainly a synonym for immensely, but not as strong.

Regally means to act royally, or kingly.

 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Name the automobile makes: 

1. river wading place 

2. ringed planet 

3. famous emancipator 

4. weep convulsively 

5. Star Wars action figure 

6. earth wanderer 

7. spotted cat 

8. heavy metal 

9. evade 

10. diminutive 

11. endlessness 

12. bawl + disparaging remark

 
  

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENUIS, MS.ANDREA L. BANKS! 

EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji                                                                      

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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