Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

Future-Lawyer

WELCOME to Friday, April 29, 2016.   

MORE PONDERING… 

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

You know how most packages say “Open here”. What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

How did a fool and his money get together?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

What do they use to ship styrofoam?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. – Groucho Marx

Coffee isn’t my cup of tea. – Samuel Goldwyn

I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can’t understand is, if they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? – Paul Merton

At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I’m not there I carry on as usual. – Patrick Moore

Operator! Give me the number for 911. – Homer Simpson

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes. – Oscar Wilde

Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning? – George W Bush

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said, ‘No, Six should be enough.’ – Les DawsonEmoji

My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil. – Paul Getty  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there were two evil friars living outside this small village. The friars had tried unsuccessfully to overtake and capture the town, but finally this time, they believed they had hit upon a foolproof scheme that would allow them to rule the village. They had, through mad scientist experiments in their floral shop, come up with a plant that would devour the townspeople one by one until none were left. They set forth to put their plan into action by planting the man-eating plants so they encircled the village. 

As the plants rapidly grew, they began devouring everything living in their path. The townspeople grew frightened; who or what would save them from their eminent doom? Finally, the town’s elder remember Hugh, a woodcutter who lived on the outskirts of town. Frantically, the townspeople penned a desperate plea for help, tied it to the leg of a pigeon, and directed the bird toward Hugh’s cabin. 

Meanwhile, outside of town, Hugh had received the note from the townspeople, and realizing they were in grave danger, set forth to do what he needed to do. He honed his mightiest axe to razor-sharpness, grabbed his hat, and off he went. 

Chopping his way through the dense vines, he single-handedly destroyed the carnivorous plants one by one, until all were destroyed. Then he set out to rid the village of the evil friars, chasing them out of town. The town was saved!!! The people rejoiced and knighted Hugh for his brave and timely efforts to save the village!!! 

And the moral of the story is: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.  Emoji 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has anything left to fear anymore. You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power, hiding behind your false idol, far from judgment, lives shrouded in secrecy even from one another. But not from God.’ 

Answer: Dogma! Bartleby (Ben Affleck) details the problem with humanity in modern times.   

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘I lost my gun today when I left you and I’m the laughingstock of a lot of people. I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know and it’s on my mind. And it makes me look like a fool. And I feel like a fool. And you asked that we should say things — that we should say what we’re thinking and not lie about things. Well, I can tell you that, this, that I lost my gun today — and I am not a good cop. And I’m looked down at. And I know that. And I’m scared that once you find that out you may not like me.’ 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Fred and his wife, Nikita, were having a conversation about words while on a road trip. 

Fred said, “I am thinking of a devilishly tricky word that has five consonants in a row.”

Nikita countered with, “That’s a good one, but people are lining up to find a word with five vowels in a row.”

What words were Fred and Nikita thinking of? 

ANSWER: Fred was thinking of witchcraft and Nikita was thinking of queueing. While having a good chuckle over their cleverness, Nikita missed the turn off for Wheeling and they wasted an hour getting back on the right road.

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you figure out the well-known expression which is represented below?

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LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, April 28, 2016.   

PONDERING… 

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What’s another word for thesaurus?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“A couple in Ohio yesterday ran a half marathon immediately after getting married at the starting line. Ha, usually you’re married a lot longer than that before you hear a gunshot.” -Seth Meyers

“Today is Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day, also known as No Work Gets Done Day. I wonder if anyone has ever been fired on ‘take your kid to work day.’ Just imagine, ‘Ron, will you and your daughter step into my office please?’ That would be a lesson about what it is like to work.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A U.N. study claims the happiest country in the world is Switzerland. When asked why they’re so happy, Swiss people couldn’t answer because their hands were counting money and their mouths were full of chocolate.” -Conan O’Brien 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian.

She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck’s path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped.

I rushed to the woman’s side to see if she was all right.

“I’m fine,” she assured me, “but if that dog hadn’t honked…” Emoji 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  ‘You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you, Peter Pan. That’s where I’ll be waiting.’ 

Answer:  Hook! Tinkerbell (Julia Roberts) says her goodbyes to Peter Pan (Robin Williams).  

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has anything left to fear anymore. You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power, hiding behind your false idol, far from judgment, lives shrouded in secrecy even from one another. But not from God.’ 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

An anagram is a word or phrase formed by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. For example, rearrange “none” to get “neon”.

It is not considered an anagram if you exchange a letter with the same letter. For example, switching the n’s with each other in “noun” does not give an anagram.

Even though a word is not considered an anagram of itself, your task is to find a word that is an anagram of itself. If you can do the seemingly impossible once, you might as well find a second word that is an anagram of itself. 

ANSWER: Both “stifle” and “filets” are anagrams of “itself”. 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Fred and his wife, Nikita, were having a conversation about words while on a road trip. 

Fred said, “I am thinking of a devilishly tricky word that has five consonants in a row.”

Nikita countered with, “That’s a good one, but people are lining up to find a word with five vowels in a row.”

What words were Fred and Nikita thinking of?

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, April 27, 2016.   

Men Are Just Happier People…….  

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You can never be pregnant.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can open all your own jars.

You can play with toys all your life.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

Your underwear is $9.95 for a three-pack.

You never have strap problems in public.

People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You! are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.” –Joan Rivers 

“One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.” –Oscar Wilde 

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.” –Albert Einstein   

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Father Henry was planning a wedding at the close of the morning service. After the benediction Father Henry had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married.

‘Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?’ Father Henry requested.

Immediately; nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.  

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Get out, go anywhere you want, go to a hotel, go live with her, and don’t come back! Because, after 25 years of building a home and raising a family and all the senseless pain that we have inflicted on each other, I’m damned if I’m going to stand here and have you tell me you’re in love with somebody else!’

Answer:  Network! Louise Schumacher (Beatrice Straight) goes off on her husband (William Holden) when he tells her about the affair he’s having with a network exec (Faye Dunaway). 

 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you, Peter Pan. That’s where I’ll be waiting.’ 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Before I came, confusion abounded.

I’m late, I’m late was frequently sounded.

I’m not average, but was based on a mean.

My size, in theory, is constant: fifteen.

I’m two dozen steps, again in theory.

But walk my length and you’d get weary.

I take half and quarter steps at times.

In reality, I don’t follow the lines.

I shrink to nothing in two cold extremes.

Over a thousand miles wide in the betweens.

What am I?

ANSWER: Time zones. Before the invention of standard time zones, each city or region could have its own local time. This became increasingly awkward as railways and telecommunications improved.

Originally, time zones based their time on Greenwich Mean Time (GMT). Mean solar time is defined by the rotation of the Earth, which is not constant in rate. Starting January 1, 1972, a new system was used, Coordinated Universal Time (UTC), which used a fixed rate and added leap seconds when necessary to compensate for variations in the rotation of the Earth.

In theory, there are 24 time zones, making each a constant 15 degrees of longitude apart. A time zone varies in width from zero miles at both poles to over 1000 miles at the equator.

In reality, there are about 40 time zones, and the border between time zones is irregular, following political or geographical boundaries. The island of Newfoundland, India, and parts of Australia use half-hour deviations from standard time, and some nations use quarter-hour deviations.

Canada’s Sir Sandford Fleming first proposed time zones for the entire world in 1876. Most major countries had adopted hourly time zones by 1929.

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

An anagram is a word or phrase formed by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. For example, rearrange “none” to get “neon”.

It is not considered an anagram if you exchange a letter with the same letter. For example, switching the n’s with each other in “noun” does not give an anagram.

Even though a word is not considered an anagram of itself, your task is to find a word that is an anagram of itself. If you can do the seemingly impossible once, you might as well find a second word that is an anagram of itself.

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, April 26, 2016.  

Here’s the Story….

There is an ancient Chinese story of a farmer who used an old horse to till his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer’s neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, ‘Bad luck? Good luck?  Who knows?’   

A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, ‘Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?’

Then, when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck.  Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, ‘Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?’

Some weeks later, an army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer’s son with his broken leg, they let him off. Now was that good luck or bad luck? Who knows?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“I want to wish everyone a happy Tax Day. I guess it’s only happy if you get money back. I hate that you have to put stamps on the envelope to send in. They can’t just throw that in? They charge us $1.41 to have the honor of sending them half the money we earn this year.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Harriet Tubman will be replacing Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. It’s truly exciting to have a woman on there. Although, unfortunately, due to the wage gap, it is now worth $17.” -Stephen Colbert

“Today is Earth Day. Environmentalists spent the day drawing attention to the Earth, while the Earth just spent the day checking Facebook to see which planets wished it a happy Earth Day.” -Jimmy Fallon  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking. 

“Next question,” announced the instructor. “How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?”

I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, “How do you spell ‘intellectual?'” Emoji 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’m somebody now, Harry. Everybody likes me. Soon, millions of people will see me and they’ll all like me. I’ll tell them about you, and your father, how good he was to us. Remember? It’s a reason to get up in the morning. It’s a reason to lose weight, to fit in the red dress. It’s a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right. What have I got Harry, hm? Why should I even make the bed, or wash the dishes? I do them, but why should I? I’m alone. Your father’s gone, you’re gone. I got no one to care for. What have I got, Harry? I’m lonely. I’m old.’ 

Answer: Requiem for a Dream! Sara (Ellen Burstyn) tells her son Harry (Jared Leto) the tragic truth of the benefits of her drug addiction. Burstyn’s performance in this film was devastatingly powerful.  

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Get out, go anywhere you want, go to a hotel, go live with her, and don’t come back! Because, after 25 years of building a home and raising a family and all the senseless pain that we have inflicted on each other, I’m damned if I’m going to stand here and have you tell me you’re in love with somebody else!’ 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed to form another word that is the answer to this teaser:

DOD Take letter 1 

ONRUM Take letters 1,2 & 5

CROSITH Take letters 1,2 & 3

ERVNE Take letters 1,2

Unscramble the letters you collected… what do you get?

ANSWER: DOD Take letter 1 – ODD, take O

ONRUM Take letters 1,2 & 5 – MOURN, take M,O,N

CROSITH Take letters 1,2 & 3 – OSTRICH, take OST

ERVNE Take letters 1,2 – NEVER, take N,E

Unscramble the above to get ‘Moonstone’.

The Moonstone is known because of the way it catches the light and gives out a mystical gleam. The way the light appears changes as you change the position of the moonstone. In ancient times, these changes to the glowing gem was associated with the waxing and waning of the moon.

Moonstone is the perfect choice for soft, sensuous, feminine jewellery because of its beautiful glow.

In different cultures, the moonstone represents various things. In India, it is believed to bring sweet dreams. In Arab countries, it is a symbol of fertility. It is also believed to enhance feelings of intuition and sensitivity. 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Before I came, confusion abounded.

I’m late, I’m late was frequently sounded.

I’m not average, but was based on a mean.

My size, in theory, is constant: fifteen.

I’m two dozen steps, again in theory.

But walk my length and you’d get weary.

I take half and quarter steps at times.

In reality, I don’t follow the lines.

I shrink to nothing in two cold extremes.

Over a thousand miles wide in the betweens.

What am I?

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, April 25, 2016.   

Play with Words……………. 

The market garden was designed to produce produce.  

The city tip was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

In the boat, a row erupted amongst the oarsmen about how to row.

The nurse wound the crepe bandage around the wound.

Dessie decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Chloe was too close to the door to close it.

When Ted saw the tear in the painting he shed a tear.

How can I intimate my thoughts to my most intimate friend?

Sherrie shed her shoes in the shed.

In terms of weight lead is in the lead.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.   

When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why do our noses run but our feet smell?

I did not object to the object.

Freddie filled in his form by filling it out.

Why do performers recite a play, yet play at a recital?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

Not to get technical, but according to chemistry alcohol IS a solution.

“If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.” –Doug Larson 

“Remember…a developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already owns a house in the woods.” –Dennis Miller  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

My boss is without peer when it comes to the rules and regulations that customs officials must follow. But when it comes to the law, well, that’s a different story. 

We were attending a court case in which we were prosecuting a smuggler. The judge asked the court, “Who is making these allegations?” 

My boss stood up and proclaimed, “I am the alligator, your honor.” Emoji

 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘You know how it is, the beginnings? When you first fall in love and you can’t eat, you can’t sleep and getting a call from her, it makes your day. It’s like seeing a shooting star.’ 

Answer:  Beautiful Girls! Timothy Hutton explains his take on relationships. This film was directed by the late Ted Demme (also did ‘Blow’).  

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’m somebody now, Harry. Everybody likes me. Soon, millions of people will see me and they’ll all like me. I’ll tell them about you, and your father, how good he was to us. Remember? It’s a reason to get up in the morning. It’s a reason to lose weight, to fit in the red dress. It’s a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right. What have I got Harry, hm? Why should I even make the bed, or wash the dishes? I do them, but why should I? I’m alone. Your father’s gone, you’re gone. I got no one to care for. What have I got, Harry? I’m lonely. I’m old.’

 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Add a different set of three letters to each of the following words to create a list of new words. The three-letter additions all have something in common. What are the new words, and how are the three-letter additions related? 

EASE

GIN

HEM

ICE

ON

OPUS

RILE

TIC    

ANSWER: DECEASE  MARGIN  MAYHEM  NOVICE  APRON  OCTOPUS  FEBRILE  SEPTIC

Each of the three-letter additions is the common three-letter abbreviation for the months of the year (DEC, MAR, MAY, etc). AUG completes the hint word.

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed to form another word that is the answer to this teaser:

DOD Take letter 1 

ONRUM Take letters 1,2 & 5

CROSITH Take letters 1,2 & 3

ERVNE Take letters 1,2

Unscramble the letters you collected… what do you get?

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

funny-puns-sherbert

WELCOME to Friday, April 22, 2016.   

Irrelevant facts……

Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star.Emoji

The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in Jello.

Even if you cut off a cockroach’s head, it can live for several weeks.

The world population of chickens is about equal to the number of people.

Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured iced water over his head.

About 70% of Americans who go to college do it just to make more money.

It’s against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.

Some toothpastes contain antifreeze.

Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns. 

Millie, the White House dog, earned more than 4 times as much as President Bush in 1999.

Bird droppings are the chief export of Nauru, an island nation in the western Pacific.

Spotted skunks do handstands before they spray.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Lee Harvey Oswald’s cadaver tag sold at an auction for $6,600 in 1992.

Mosquitoes have teeth.

Hypnotism is banned by public schools in San Diego.

When snakes are born with two heads, they fight each other for food.

Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. Samuel Butler

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable. Mark Twain

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy. Ambrose Bierce

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. W.C. Fields

The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side. James Baldwin  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

A Year 5 teacher was giving her Primary pupils a lesson in developing logical thinking.

‘This is the scene’, said the teacher.

‘A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?’

A little girl raised her hand and asked, ‘To draw out all his savings?’  

 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘They don’t even know what it is to be a fan. Y’know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts…’

Answer:  Almost Famous! Sapphire (Fairuza Balk) explains the difference between band-aids and casual fans. This movie, written and directed by Cameron Crowe, was also loosely based on his own life.  

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘You know how it is, the beginnings? When you first fall in love and you can’t eat, you can’t sleep and getting a call from her, it makes your day. It’s like seeing a shooting star.’  

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Gretchen just returned from the beach, and told her brother Henry that she found three interesting types of shells. He asked what they were, and she answered with these rebuses:

LL

LL

AA

CC

SS

1. Nice Naughty Nice Naughty

2. Naughty Nice Naughty Nice

*3. Nice Nice Nice Nice

After thinking for a while, Henry says, “I get the first two types of shells, but didn’t you say you found three?”

“Oops! I almost forgot!” replies Gretchen, as she hits her brother on the head.

“Now I know them all!” he laughs. 

ANSWER:The first type were scallops (SCALL-ups). The second was nautilus (Naughty-less). And the last was conch (conk!).    

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Add a different set of three letters to each of the following words to create a list of new words. The three-letter additions all have something in common. What are the new words, and how are the three-letter additions related? 

EASE

GIN

HEM

ICE

ON

OPUS

RILE

TIC

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, April 21, 2016.  

Amazing Facts……………….  

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. 

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.Funny ostrich

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

‘Dreamt’ is the only English word that ends in the letters ‘mt’.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge. Paul Gauguin

The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children. King Edward VIII

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. Jane Wagner

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. Francois de La Rochefoucauld

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem. Malcolm Forbes     

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

We had a power outage last week and my computer, TV, and games console shut down immediately.

It was raining hard and I couldn’t play golf either so I just talked to my wife for a few hours.

Seems like a nice person.Emoji 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???’Dance is more than the steps. Feel the music and dance for sheer joy.’ 

Answer: Shall We Dance! This Japanese film about ballroom dancing was really fantastic. It won many awards, including the Seattle International Film Festival’s New Director Prize, the Golden Satellite Award, the London Critics Circle Film Award, and the Award of the Japanese Academy.   

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘They don’t even know what it is to be a fan. Y’know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts…’

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Oxymorons are not thick bovines, but two words, with opposite meanings, linked together to form a descriptive phrase. As an example, golfers play with metal woods. 

Take a word from the top list, pair it with a word from the second, and find all 7 oxymorons. 

LIST ONE: fine, dry, awfully, slipped, sweet, good, standing 

LIST TWO: jump, good, sorrow, sherry, drizzle, up, grief 

ANSWER: Fine drizzle.  Dry sherry.  Awfully good.  Slipped up.  Sweet sorrow.  Good grief.  Standing jump. 

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Gretchen just returned from the beach, and told her brother Henry that she found three interesting types of shells. He asked what they were, and she answered with these rebuses:

LL

LL

AA

CC

SS

1. Nice Naughty Nice Naughty

2. Naughty Nice Naughty Nice

*3. Nice Nice Nice Nice

After thinking for a while, Henry says, “I get the first two types of shells, but didn’t you say you found three?”

“Oops! I almost forgot!” replies Gretchen, as she hits her brother on the head.

“Now I know them all!” he laughs.

 

WEDNESDAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS.  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.