Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, March 30, 2016.   

The Funny Wisdom’s of Life……

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order – Brian Pickrell

Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it – Author unknown

He has a face like a Saint – A Saint Bernard – Unknown

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer – Douglas Adams Sometimes we have to let go

The empty vessel makes the greatest sound – William Shakespeare

Silence and smile are two powerful words.  Smile is the way to solve many problems and Silence is the way to avoid many problems – Anon

Knowledge talks, wisdom listens

There cannot be a crisis next week.  My schedule is already full – Henry Kissinger

He could start a row in an empty house – Sir Alex Ferguson on footballer Dennis Wise

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure – Clarence Darrow

He has all the virtues I dislike, and none of the vices I admire – Winston Churchill

I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure – W.C. Fields

In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back – Charlie Brown

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone – Reba McEntire

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway – Anon

Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later a collection of mistakes called Experience leads us to success

A wise man listens to advice – Proverbs 12:15

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget 

to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

 “Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.” –Robert Frost 

“It doesn’t make a difference what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.” –Steven Wright 

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” –Charles Dickens 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

Police Officer Bryant found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists. One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so Bryant investigated and found the problem.  10 year old Dennis was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.” A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “Tips” and a bucket at his feet, full of change.   

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? Mathilda: ‘Leon, I think I’m falling in love with you. It’s the first time for me, you know?’

Leon: ‘How do you know it’s love if you’ve never been in love before?’

Mathilda: ‘Cause I feel it.’

Leon: ‘Where?’

Mathilda: ‘In my stomach. It’s all warm. I always had a knot there and now, . . . it’s gone.’

Leon: ‘Mathilda, I’m glad you don’t have a stomach ache any more. I don’t think it means anything.’ 

Answer: Leon! Mathilda (Natalie Portman) divulges her growing affection to Leon (Jean Reno) and he dismisses them. Some scenes important to it were cut from American versions (and yes, the American version is entitled ‘The Professional’).  

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘She’ll only break your heart, it’s a fact. And even though I warn you, even though I guarantee you that the girl will only hurt you terribly, you’ll still pursue her. Ain’t love grand?’

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

We are brave sailors always riding the sea
We are less than one hundred but as tough as can be
We sleep in three bunkers on top of each other
Our numbers double from one bunker to another
We dance in joy all through the night
In groups of fives under the moonlight
Last night twelve of us were swallowed by waves
Leaving alive more than two third of the braves
Still we continue the journey refusing to fail
So tell me how many of us are left to sail? 

ANSWER: 58 sailors are left.  1. From line 2: Total number of sailors is <100.  2. From lines 3 & 4: Let number of sailors sleeping in bunker 1 be X, then number of sailors sleeping in bunker 2 is 2X and in bunker 3 is 4X, i.e. Total number of sailors = X+2X+4X = 7X and thus it is a multiple of 7.  3. From line 6: dancing in groups of fives means the total number is a product of 5.  4. From lines 7 & 8: 12 of the sailors drowned in the sea, leaving more than two third of the sailors alive, so the total number is > 36 (3 * 12).  Summing up all the above given information, the total number of sailors is <100 and >36, it divides by 7 and 5, which adds up to the total number of 70 sailors.  Since 12 of the 70 sailors died in the sea, there are 58 sailors left to continue the journey. 

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) canine fur & porcine challenge

2) rock toss & to pack up royal furniture

3) arsonist’s desire & to battle a fibber

4) underground amphibian & bar rules

 
  

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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