Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, March 28, 2016.    

Actual High School Geography Answers…..

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: Certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation.  Then the sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?

A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.Schoolboy howler Geography Jokes

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in the fight.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“A new study came out that says drinking more beer could lower women’s risk of a heart attack by 30 percent. The study was conducted by the Institute of Things to Tell That Hot Woman at a Party.” -Conan O’Brien

“Researchers have studied a fish in Thailand and found that it has developed bones on its pelvis that can allow it to walk — and sing.” -Seth Meyers

“A new study found that women with natural blonde hair had a higher average IQ score than brunettes and redheads. So, for you natural blondes out there, a higher IQ means you’re smarter. ” -Jimmy Fallon 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

A Baptist pastor was presenting a children’s sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.

Now, asking questions during children’s sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand…

The pastor called on him and the little boy said, “I’m not sure, but I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.” Emoji 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘I may go back to hating you. It was more fun.’ 

Answer: North by Northwest! Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) says this to Eve Kendall (Eva Marie Saint), frustrated by the compiling deceptions. 

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘We all see what we want to see. Coffey looks and he sees Russians. He sees hate and fear. You have to look with better eyes than that.’

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Someone has stolen Beethoven’s Wig and has put it in one of four locked boxes. The boxes are numbered from 1,2,3,4 in that order. There are four different keys that each has their own color. Use the clues below to figure out which key goes in which box and to find the box where Beethoven’s wig is being kept. 

1. The green key goes to the third or fourth box

2. The wig is to the left of the fourth box

3. The wig is to the right of the first box

4. The yellow key is to the left of the wig

5. The blue key is to the right of the yellow key and to the left of the green key

6. The red key goes to the first box   

ANSWER: The wig is in the third box

The red key goes to the first box

The yellow key goes to the second box

The blue key goes to the third box

The green key goes to the fourth box 

 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Inside each set of the following words, there are a pair of smaller words. By putting & between them, lo & behold, you’ll make a familiar phrase. For example, “Thighbone/Swallowtail” conceals “High & Low.”

1. Skyrocketing/Trolleyman 

2. Thermometer/Apoplexy 

3. Delaware/Bordering 

4. Surprised/Trashiness 

5. Throughout/Stumblebum

 
 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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