Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, March 25, 2016.    

Unexpected Knowledge Gained From the Movies….

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 

When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom still still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

Large, loft-style apartments in New York City (or Paris) are well within the price range of most people-whether they are employed or not.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

If staying in a haunted house, women will investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or 

Russian accent will do.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

Hollywood is a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Easter weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“This week in New York, police arrested a man who tried to steal 43 sticks of underarm deodorant from a drugstore. The man is being described as ‘not European.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Alex Trebek has broken a world record for game-show hosts, after hosting 6,829 shows in his career. When asked how he’s made it through so many shows, Trebek said, ‘What is Scotch?'” -Jimmy Fallon

“A 10-year-old boy in New York set a new world record for his age group after running a mile in 5 minutes and 1 second. He was able to set the record after he accidentally made eye contact with a girl.” -Seth Meyers 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

 If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn’t come back, it was never yours to begin with. 

But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn’t appear to realize that you had set it free….you either married it or gave birth to it.Emoji 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Multiply your anger by about a hundred, Kate, that’s how much he thinks he loves you.’ 

Answer: Kiss the Girls! Morgan Freeman’s character explains to Ashley Judd’s Kate the mindset of the killer they’re searching for. This movie might have been good if they hadn’t put Cary Elwes’ name third in the opening credits. What was essentially a bit role as a low-level cop obviously didn’t garner such billing, so it was more than obvious he was the killer and not the least bit surprising when the movie ultimately ‘surprised’ us with that information. 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘I may go back to hating you. It was more fun.’

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

 Inside each set of the following words, there are a pair of smaller words. By putting & between them, lo & behold, you’ll make a familiar phrase. For example, “Thighbone/Swallowtail” conceals “High & Low.”

1. Gulliver/Clearness

2. Tragicomedy/Pentagon

3. Chinchilla/Magdalene

4. Terrestrial/Ecoterrorist

5. Thundershower/Intellectual

 

ANSWER: 1. Live & Learn  2. Come & Go  3. Hill & Dale  4. Trial & Error  5. Show & Tell   

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Someone has stolen Beethoven’s Wig and has put it in one of four locked boxes. The boxes are numbered from 1,2,3,4 in that order. There are four different keys that each has their own color. Use the clues below to figure out which key goes in which box and to find the box where Beethoven’s wig is being kept. 

1. The green key goes to the third or fourth box

2. The wig is to the left of the fourth box

3. The wig is to the right of the first box

4. The yellow key is to the left of the wig

5. The blue key is to the right of the yellow key and to the left of the green key

6. The red key goes to the first box

 
 
 

 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS & MS. KIM HILLYARD! NICE WORK LADIES! 

EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji           

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  Emoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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