Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Monday, March 21, 2016.   

A Dozen Gentle ‘Thoughts for Today’ as We Grow Older……..

Ageing: eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The easiest way to find something that’s lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

If at first you don’t succeed, shouldn’t you try doing it like your wife told you?

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

He who hesitates is almost certainly right.

Did you ever notice? The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ‘XL’.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt..

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     



“According to the Annual World Happiness Report, the United States is the 13th happiest country in the world. You know what the happiest country in the world is? Denmark. Danish people are the happiest. Of course they’re happy, they have a pastry named after them.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Amazon’s got this new voice-activated home assistant gadget called the Echo. You just talk to the Echo, and it tells you the weather or sports scores or controls the lighting or climate in your house. Now, the Echo is always listening, but it only activates when you say its name: Alexa. It’s a pretty name, much prettier than the earlier name, the privacy-destroyer spy-mic 5000.” -Stephen Colbert

“In last night’s Democratic debate, Hillary Clinton said that several times a day, she speaks to God. But never for under $100,000.” -Conan O’Brien 


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.

He asked his father, “How does this boat float?”

The father thought for a moment, then replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”

The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, “How do fish breathe underwater?”

Once again the father replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”

A little later the boy asked his father, “Why is the sky blue?”

Again, the father replied. “Don’t rightly know, son.”

Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, “Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?”

“Of course not, son. If you don’t ask questions, you’ll never learn anything!”  


Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ”He gave Jenny… the huggies!’ 

Answer: The muppets take manhattan! Miss Piggy confronts Kermit in the park after she sees him hugging 

his friend Jenny.  

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’m a god. I’m not ‘the’ God. I’m ‘a’ god.’


Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Without changing the order of the letters, place the four letter words on the dashes to form eight letter words. All the words will not be used.

Veto, Lent, Rake, Hilt, Clam, Abut, Tile

1. __ um__ __ i __ y

2. Pro __ __ __ i __

3. __ err __ b __ __

4. __ __ xa __ i __ n

5. Ove __ t __ __ __ 


ANSWER: 1. Humility – hilt

2. Proclaim – clam

3. Terrible – tile

4. Vexation – veto

5. Overtake – rake  


Monday’s Quizzler is……….

If you like solving puzzles, periodically,

Then this may suit your particular body chemistry.
One is partly controversial but makes hard teeth with just a trace,
Two is notoriously poisonous and sometimes seen with old lace.
Three made the Hindenburg rise and fall disastrously from the sky,
Four is most essential, without Thyroxin you would surely die.
Five is up in the air and to life it is very dear.
Six is like your favourite pub, a lot to do with atmosphere.
Put us all together and we wield economic power,
A magazine? ; a dress ? ; a trend? ; I change by the hour.
What am I?





LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at  Emoji




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