Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, February 15, 2016.    

Food Punography…

1. Stealing someone’s coffee is called ‘mugging’.  

2. The coffee tasted like mud because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.

3. Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.  

4. When he spilled coffee on her shirt she showed him dis-stain.  

5. Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.  

6. Why are Italians so good at making coffee? Because they really know how to espresso themselves.

7. Snakes don’t drink coffee because it makes them viperactive.  

8. Does a coffee shop have the grounds to operate in the black?  

9. The coffee around here is break fluid.  

10. Is coffee your daily grind?

11. I just had some coffee that was good only for its sedimental value.  

12. Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!

13. Selling coffee has its perks for those who have bean so lucky.  

14. The concession stand at the circus had very good coffee. It was the greatest joe on earth.

15. What do people buy coffee with? Starbucks.

16. The author wasn’t pleased to see a review of his book on cappuccino’s. It said it was all froth and no substance.

17. I went for a drink with a Matador the other day. I had a tea, he had a cafe au lait.

18. ‘Did you remember to buy me the coffee with ice cream inside it?’. ‘Oh I’m sorry, affogato!’.

19. When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.  

20. If you spend too much time in the coffee shop you’ll be latte for work.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Presidents Day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“The Harry Potter Studio Tour just announced that it’s hosting a Valentine’s Day dinner in the Great Hall from Hogwarts. It’s great for couples, or for single guys who claim their date is wearing an ‘invisibility cloak.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Fast-food chain White Castle announced this week that they will be offering dinner reservations for Valentine’s Day. It’s the perfect way to tell the person you love that you don’t.” -Seth Meyers

“A survey by the national retail foundation said that some people even give their fish Valentine’s Day gifts. A good way to tell that you’ve lost your mind is if you give your fish a Valentine’s Day gift.” –Jimmy Kimmel  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five- year-old son was sitting on the back of an alligator. 

Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve foot male alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load by twisting and snapping. As the brave ranger moved in he tried to console the mother by saying, “I think I can grab the boy and move away before the gator moves. Be ready to grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator.” 

To which the lady replies “Good Heavens, no! Don’t shoot him. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute so I could take my son’s picture on his back.” Emoji 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “What could be worse than rape?” 

Answer:  The General’s Daughter! John Travolta asks James Woods this while trying to find out what has happened to the murdered girl.

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “My dear, look a little frog.”

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Add together each of the defined words to get a whole new word. Example: to shout + what you say when you feel pain = a color = yellow.

1) A light brown color + to leave = a dance.

2) A store’s announcement + a type of women’s clothing = a building’s location.

3) A vehicle + an animal pal = a floor covering.

4) The ocean + a father’s boy = part of the year.

5) Another name for dad + a yellow veggie = a white fluffy snack.  

ANSWER: 1) tan + go = tango.

2) ad + dress = address.

3) car + pet = carpet.

4) sea + son = season.

5) pop + corn = popcorn. 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Which Disney movie is the misfit?

Hercules

The Lion King

Beauty and the Beast

The Jungle Book

The Aristocats

Pocahontas

Peter Pan

The Little Mermaid

Bambi

 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND MS KIM HILLYARD! NICE WORK LADIES!  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji                                                                         

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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